Death Wish
by N.J Maacha
Summary: Bella is a foster child who thinks life sucks and wouldnt wish anything but to end it as soon as possible but a new foster family brings new chalenges. She cant help but feel they want her to replace soemthing thats been missing. READ AND REVIEW?
1. Home Comming

Tick...tick...tick. Time is slow and pointless. The minute your born into the world you start to die and day by day your dreams are torn apart. I lay there wishing for the end in a hospital bed assigned to me. The hospital where I was born, where my mother died, where my father abandoned me. This was my final resting place. Or at least it was suppose to be. I reached up to touch my neck. The fragile lines carved into my skin where only slight and shallow. I had passed out but my foster mother had walked in on my suicide, saving me...or at least that's what she thought she was doing. I rested my hands on the pale white blankets that covered me and balled my hands into fists, focusing on the conversation outside my door. Something about being admitted for another week. I finally let my brown eyes shut and my head roll to the side. I pulled the pillow from under my head and held it over my face, pushing ever so slightly, falling into unconsciousness.

"Bella?" My own name rung in my ears. I jumped at the sound. It was not my foster mother nor was it my doctor. The boy smiled down at me, his golden eyes glinting in the scarce light reminding me of a lion staring down its prey. He lifted the board with my information and tossed it in my lap. "Welcome to our little family."

He left the room quickly and I ran my fingers trough long reddish brown hair. My hair. I remembered how my foster mother had said she had given up on me and I sighed once more. She was just another one in the list of many. Jumping from the hospital bed I changed into my street clothes, which consisted of a forest green tank top and a pair of denim shorts, and walked out into the hall. Only the nurses and the ticking noise of the clock.

"Can I tell you a secret?" That fimilar voice whispered into my ear. I looked to the left surprised by his eyes. "You are so creepy."

I growled at him but he just smiled at me. "Isabella Swan. Age sixteen, brown hair, brown eyes, hospitalized forty-two times in only this year."

He feed back my information but I just bit my lip, glaring at him. I wanted to seem strong and stand my ground but my knees wobbled. Steadying myself against the wall I sighed. The ticking was in my ears, I couldn't concentrate. I was waiting for more words but he remained motionless and soundless, staring me down.

"Edward be nice!" The words where jumpy, happy even though they where force full and authoritative. There was a girl standing there behind him with brown hair. Her bright golden eyes flashed at me, the same golden eyes as this Edward boy. "Hey there, I'm Alice!"

"Bella." My voice sounded rougher then I had meant.

"She's hostile." Edward waved a hand in my direction before walking off down the hall. I huffed under my breath but Alice's soft voice sounded again.

"He's a jerk. Don't mind him. I'll take you home when your released." She smiled giving me a wink and leading me back into my room. I struggled to get back to the hall, wanting so bad to hunt down that boy and give him a peice of my mind, but the small girl was stronger then me. She shoved me on the bed and I collapsed easily. Who the hell where these people!

Without a word I fell into my dark hole again. I truly wished the darkness would just swallow me up and never return me. I wanted to die, were the multiple cuts and wounds and suicides and pills not enough to convince them to just let me go. Suddenly, without warning I was in the blackness again. Lost in my own dreams once more.

Dawn awoke me. The light hit me, hit me hard. I struggled to open my eyes, flinging my arm up to try to protect me. Those eyes where there in a flash, just inches from mine, starring intently into mine as if ready to attack.

"Bite me." I whispered glaring, or doing my best to do so, as he laughed. It pierced me hard, that laughter of his. It was so light like a child's. I sighed trowing the covers off of me and standing up.

"Ready to go?" Alice was sitting on my bed where moments ago I had slept so soundly. I looked at her skepticaly. "You've been sleeping for nearly three whole days."

"Thought you where dead." The words where whispered into my ear.

"I wish." I spat marching over to my dresser and pulling out my book bag. Turning towards the door I closed my eyes and let my feet carry me. Alice grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me along the series of halls. I opened my eyes giving them a roll. I could feel Edward glaring at me from behind. I felt like spinning around and punching him right in the face, but this would be my new foster family. I couldn't be so violent. This would be my new life. Finally we emerged out into the sunlight and I had to wince again this time at the fact that I was being led to a very long, very black convertible, the light reflecting of the gleaming surface. Edward took his seat in the drivers side and Alice helped me into the back. She took the seat beside her brother and we where off. It was hard to keep my eyes shut even in the bright light of the sun so instead I paid attention as we headed off the main roads and onto a beltway. We where heading the opposite direction of where I used to live. Out of the country and into the city.

Finally the blur of greens and yellows turned into the rough grays and whites of the stone walls. We slowed our pace and I was taken aback by the noise around me. Yelling, lots of yelling. We stopped after a few more twists inside of a large parking complex. Alice had already left the car and Edward was slamming his door shut. I climbed quickly from my seat and rushed after Alice. I fallowed her out and into the lobby of a large apartment building, then in front of the large steel doors of the elevator. Edward jammed the button roughly and the ding brought me back to the reality of it all. I knew nothing of the people I was fallowing. I knew nothing about my new family. I had no idea what to expect. Probably just another small two bedroom foster home with run down walls, but if the car was any indication, I was wrong. I had never been to one of these types. Always in a big home with lots of kids. Always in the country. I sighed as another ding announced our arrival. Only the doors didn't slid open. Alice smiled at me, turning a key inside a slot next to the button we had pressed to get to the top of the building. The doors dinged open to reveal the large and spacious polished wooden floors of a penthouse apartment.

"Welcome home." A voice called lazily from the sofa. A hand waved in the air as if telling us to come in.

"Where home!" Alice replied happily bounding over in the general direction of the living room that lay ahead of us. Edward traveled off down a hall to the right. I looked back to Alice and she waved me over happily. She plopped down on the floor and I dragged my feet over to the couch not daring to look down. "This is Jasper. He was adopted. We all are."

I starred down at the man who lay on the sofa. He looked like he was sixteen or seventeen. His long arm reached up into the air and I stepped back. He was fast though like his sister and brother. His fingers wrapped around the collar of my shirt and yanked me forward. His eyes where the same golden color as the rest of them. I was lost for a moment before I felt his breath on my mouth. I had not realized we where this close, his nose grazing mine. I was pushed backwards and suddenly he was sitting up, running long fingers trough sandy brown hair. He seemed to remind me of Edward in every way but his height and his build. He was taller and slightly more muscular then Edward, which seemed almost impossible considering Edward was tall and muscular already. "I give her two weeks."

My death sentence. My hand automatically reached up to my neck where the cuts where starting to heal. If I had it my way I would be gone in less then four days. I was so caught up in my own thoughts I hadn't realized someone else had come in. My head thrust forward after a hard knock to the back of it. I jumped, spinning around, ready to swing at my attacker; whoever it might be. Edward stood before me Lions eyes staring me down. I clenched my hand into a fist and put all my weight behind the punch, yet he caught it so easily. "Stop daydreaming and come to your room."

He started pulling my arm towards the hall and I made no struggle. There was no point, he would win. I counted the doors as we past, each with a name painted neatly on the front in red lettering. I wasn't paying attention to the names though, only the number of doors. We walked past exactly eight doors, before stopping at the last one in the hallway, my name painted on the front. A picture of me was tacked to the door and under it a white sheet of paper. Edward removed the papers and pushed the door open. He tossed the papers onto my bed and moved to the side to let me in. I sighed plopping down on the bed and wincing as the door slammed shut. I picked up the papers and looked over the note. It was the same handwriting that was on the door.

_Bella~_

_Sorry we could not be home to greet you. We had to attend to a business meeting. Jasper will be in charge of the house. We should be home by morning. Make yourself at home._

_- Esme and Carlisle_

It was short and to the point. I ran over the names of my new parents in the back of my mind. Fumbling around in my backpack I withdrew the small pocket knife. Undoing the white ribbon of bandaging I had wrapped around my wrist I looked over the skin. I sighed making two shallow cuts on the area. Two more cuts and a few spots of blood started to show. They where shallow, thin. They would disappear in a few days, maybe a week, and when the did I would attempt again to return to the hospital which I had been my whole life. I closed my eyes and laid back on the bed. The blankets where soft and warm, and they smelled like vanilla. It was strange. I wasn't used to the silence, then again It didn't last very long.

"Bella!" Alice's voice rang outside my door. There was a loud thunk and I could feel her weight on top of me. My eyes popped open to show me her face. The gold of her eyes blazed. "Want me to show you around?"

"Sure?" I shrugged my shoulders as she bounced away from me. I sat up and watched as she led me back down the hall. I noticed now the names. Some of them repeted. On the door next to mine it listed both my name, Alice's, and another name, Rosalie. Before I could ask, she answered my question.

"This is the girls bathroom, mine and Rosalie's room, Jasper and Edwards room, boys bathroom, Emmit and Jacob's room, and then our parents room and bathroom." Sure enough each room was printed with multiple names. I paused outside of Emmit and Jacobs's room. The only boys I had not met yet. I was staring at the red lettering for a moment before suddenly the door swung open. Black hair framed the face of a small boy. He looked up, for he was ever so slightly shorter then me, with sparkiling gold eyes. He stood still as we just stared at each other in awkward tension. It was kinda creepy how he never spoke a word. His hair was in disaray, rough and untidy. Suddenly he pushed past me and into the hallway going towards the same direction that Alice was standing, at the end of the hall. I stood dumb found for a moment before walking behind him**_,_**I felt uncomfortable following him.

Before I knew it though I was next to Alice and he was plopping down on the floor in front of the couch where Jasper had resumed his laying about. Edward was sitting on the arm rest of the couch. They looked like the picture perfect family. How all the kids never fought, and yet they all were adopted. Then the hated voice of Edward suddenly interrupted my thoughts. "The kitchen is on the other side of the living room along with the dinning room."

"Okay." Now that I actually took the time to look around, the living room was just one big room that connected to the dinning room and kitchen. I sighed as Alice walked into the kitchen leaving me on my own.

"Sit." The command came from across the room where Jacob was sitting on the floor. His eyes where cast at the blank TV screen but his words where directed at me.

"Don't even bother Jakey boy." Edward spat the words and turned his face so I could not see any sign of his eyes. Probably to make the fact that he hated me and didn't want me any where near him more painstakingly prominent.

"Sit." Jacob repeated the command. His brown eyes shot up to look at me and he formed his mouth into a slick smile, perfect white teeth showing through. I sighed unable to resist standing there any longer, for two reasons. One was the fact that it seemed like Jacob was the only one that I could not tell upon the personality and two I wanted to piss Edward off as much as possible. I took a seat with my back against the couch, kinda in the middle of where Jacob sat and where Jasper's head was resting. I wasn't safe though. With a sudden and intent movement I felt a hand slam against the back of my head. I almost turned around but the words where already out there. Jacobs voice echoed in my ears, "What the hell Jasper, she's family now, you should start acting like it. Stop pretending you two and grow up for once. You _KNOW_ they want this to work out and you _KNOW_ she's not going anywhere so just deal with it already."

"Why don't you stop acting like a goody two shoes and stop pretending you actually like this one better then all the other ones." Edward jumped into the conversation. He was angry. It seemed like he was the type that would alwasy be angry. "Your the perfect child in every way. Why don't you stop running your mouth to us, because where not changing. There the ones who wanted a child and they've got to find one that we get along with. All of us. And I'm not gonna pretend I like someone I don't."

I was stunned but they yelling had stopped and everything was quite again. I could hear Edward's breathing, fast and uneven. He sighed one last time before standing up from the couch and walking away. My eyes got dragged to the Tv where the multiple lights and colors flickered to life. I hadn't even realized that Jasper had turned on the t.v during the argument. Soon my mind was so into what ever reality show was playing across teh screen I let the whole argument between the perfect family I had seen just moments slip away form my mind. At least they were perfect before I had interrupted it.


	2. Starting Out

**_*Dream*_**

_I was six. My heart was pounding away and the voice in my head was telling me to just hit the button. Turn the switch off. It just couldn't be real. The tears where starting to swell and I couldn't seem to uncurl my fingers from the fists they had managed to ball into._

_"Bella?" My mothers voice drifted in from the hall. I managed to close my eyes and wipe the tears away._

_"Yes Mom?" I tried to sound strong but my voice cracked and gave me away._

_"Bella Don't cry." My mother had come into the room and wrapped her arms around me. "Everything's going to be ok. Where going to a nice place."_

_"But..." My voice trailed off. I couldn't say the words. The only person I had here in the deserted area of Forks, Washington, was myself. It was a small town. Nothing serious. I'd only been living here for two years and still hadn't made any friends, so it wasn't that I was teh fact that I was leaving that was making me cry._

_"What is it Honey?" My mother was patting my head at this point and the tears where pouring out._

_"Nothing." I wiped my tears away and stood up. She didn't understand. She didn't love him, like I had. I grabbed my bag and stomped out the door. It only took a few seconds to get out of his house and into my mom's car. I through my stuff in the back and jumped in after it. The back seat held only me and my small bag. Most of my clothes where in a box in the trunk along with my blanket. I hadn't really brought much else._

_"Honey it's gonna be ok." She repeated the words, but they didn't have the same feel that I yearned for. It was an emotionless confirmation. I just curled up into a ball on the seat and cried myself to sleep. When we stopped to eat I stayed there, in my little ball, and waited for her to come back. I stayed in the car even when she stopped at a hotel. My life was falling apart. It was a frustratingly long ride from his place in Forks to my mothers new place she had in Cary, North Carolina._

_"Bella? Were here." Another emotionless confirmation of what I already knew._

_"Got it." I stormed up the steps and into the house. I managed to find my room, easy enough as it was painted a bright neon green, and toss my bag in a corner. It was like nothing had every changed, the room was already decorated._

_"She's hopeless." I heard her voice drift from the floor below._

_"She just needs time." I covered my ears at that point. I didn't need time. I needed him._

_"Bella?"_

_"Umfh." It was her voice again. The voice that I hated, the one with out emotion. It had only become like that after he had died. It was annoying to hear it. She kept calling though. When I thought I had escaped she would try to talk. _

_There she was again. Sitting on the edge of my bed after just saying my name once. Like a moth to flame. "Bella sweetie. I know you loved him...a lot. But it will be fine here. You'll love it."_

_"How could I love it! I loved him! You wouldn't understand! You didn't love him!" I screamed the words before throwing my head into my pillow. I could tell she was shocked. Her breathing was uneven._

_"You start school tomorrow. Be ready at seven." The words came slowly and hushed, before she got up and left._

_***End***_

* * *

Motivation. It was the one thing I lacked in getting up that morning. My eyes where heavy as I opened them. I almost didn't want to. It was black and dark. The room they had put me into held no windows and I really didn't feel like turning on the lights. I liked the darkness. Especially now as I tried to remember every detail from my day with my new family, and prepared myself for meeting my new parents. My eyes slowly started to close. I had watched TV and then ate dinner and then sat in my room and eventually fallen asleep. I had not arrived at the house till well into the afternoon, five or six, so it didn't really leave much time for me to do anything worth while. Plus there really wasn't much for me _to _do. I sighed sitting up in my bed and deciding to get up for the day. I flicked on the lights and began to sort trough the new clothes that Alice had showed me where in my new closet. I should have guess that they would be all up scale, pricey clothes. I smiled picking out a pink top and a black vest. Next I pulled out a pair of light blue washed out denim jeans. I smiled looking myself over in the mirror. I liked these clothes, and they fit me OK. I traced my eyes with black eyeliner and brushed my hair and I was out the door. I smiled as I counted the doors back out into the living room. The only thing was I didn't even get past four before my day was ruined. At door number four the most despised person I coul think of just happened to jump out at me.

"Stay out of my way." Edward's voice sounded gruff. His head was down and I couldn't see his eyes, but it sounded as if he hadn't gotten a good nights sleep.

"Why do you hate me so much?" The question was simple and easy. I stood still as he walked off down the hall and disappeared into the living room. The smell of waffles and sausage traced its way back to me along with some last words from Edward.

"No idea." It echoed in my head. How can someone hate me without even knowing why. It made me feel so mad. I took a deep breath and turned the corner. To my surprise there sat two of the kindest faces I had ever thought I would met in a house like this.

"Hello Bella." My newest mother greeted me. Her smile was soft and sincere. She wasn't young, but she wasn't old. I could place her at about thirty. Late twenty's. Her husband who sat next to her must have been around the same age. They both had light brown hair, hers a little more then shoulder length, and his a shorter cut style. The mother had piercing golden eyes as well as my newest father. I sat down at the only empty seat at the table and began to put food on my plate like everyone else had done. We ate breakfast in silence. Something I was not used to. I had always been accustomed to the loud screams and the motion of all the other foster children.

I had always wanted a big family. It was something I had always dreamed about. This however was different from what I dreamed. Yeah I now currently held onto a big family but the whole thing was wrong. I bowed my head and ate in the same silence everyone else respected. Soon my new parents where standing and walking out the door. Before I had realized everyone else had moved I was alone. I blinked rapidly before standing up and nearly tripping over my own two feet. I laughed. It seemed like I could be myself but only when I was by myself. I heard the door close as the boys left the house leaving me with odd glances at my sudden out break of laughter.

"Would you like to go out with me?" The voice surprised me. Standing in the hall was Jacob. He smiled a big smile. "Lets try this again. Yesterday was a little...Boring."

"Uh...I guess." I smiled. He seemed so welcoming, without the fake happiness or all too unhidden hatred.


	3. Having Fun

We walked the streets of the city for what seemed like forever. He had my hand in his and was leading me along like a small child. He was shorter than me, but only slightly and I liked it that way. I didn't really care where we were going, or that it was in complete silence, just that we where going was all I needed. Going away from the hate of my newest brothers, away from the seemingly fake happiness Alice continued to show me, away from everything and everyone. Then he stopped. I had to pull my thoughts back to the situation to stop myself from running into him.

He had stopped in front of a small Cafe. I looked up to read the sign that hung on the wall.

"Nya?" I asked, staring up at the black cat pictured by the words "Small Kitty Cafe."

"Cute right?" He asked kind of idling outside the door. I could tell he was daring himself to go into such a girlie place.

"Seriously?" I asked skeptically trying to peer trough the pink-tinted windows. "I Don't _Do_ cute."

"Thank god." He heaved. It seemed like he was letting out the breath he had held.

"How about that place?" I pointed to the shop next door. It had a picture of a big pit bull above the words _'Big Dog Cafe.'_

"Its Kind of the same thing."

"No this Little Kitty-"

"Small Kitty." Two girls that happened to walk into the door corrected me.

"Fine _Small _kitty." I put air quotes up around my words. "Cafe, is all girlie, That Big Dog Cafe looks like a mad house."

"Too true." Jacob said with a laugh as he walked over and held the door open for me.

"Thanks for seeing things my way." I said quite pleased with myself. We took a seat at one of the brown wooden tables. It was just a normal old fashioned Cafe, but it was still a great deal better then the kitty place. "Isn't this nice."

Jacob laughed at my words, but the waitress interrupted us. "Hellow Welcome to Big Dowg Cafe."

The women had a southern accent that made me smile. "What can I get cha."

"Tea." I said quickly wanting to be the first to say something, and to stop my laughter at the blush spreading over Jacobs face.

"Same." He answered. I could tell he picked this to get the talking over quickly.

"And for food."

"Noodles." I answered simply trying to hold back my laughter once more.

"Same." Was Jacob's answer, this time with more composure.

"Be out in a moment."

"That was intense." I said with a smile as the waitress retreated. It seemed easy to be myself around Jacob, he wasn't like the others of my new family, the other...damn I hadn't even learned their last name.

"Cullen's." Jacob said practically answering my question. "We can be a bit..."

"Charming?" I asked sarcastically.

"I think I was looking for hard to approach, or something along those lines." Jacob said with a big grin. The waitress was back with our drinks and she set them down gingerly before walking away again. I began to sip my tea letting the conversation drift into silence. "Its good?"

I nodded. I had noticed he hadn't touched his. Maybe it was too hot for him? Did he have a cat's tongue? I smiled and put up a peace sign. **"**Spectacular."

"Great!" Jacob said erupting into laughter once again. I liked his laugh. It wasn't as cold or childish as the other Cullen's. It was kind and full, robust. The waitress brought over our noodles and we quieted down. It wasn't like we where disturbing anyone, we where the only ones dining in the café at the moment. That I could see, anyways.

"You where adopted too I guess." I asked before beginning to nibble my noodles.

"Yeah. Pretty much." He sighed before beginning his meal very slowly. "Did you ever know your parents?"

"I don't really remember them much if that's what you're asking." I sighed as I finished my tea and began to slurp up my noodles. It was a lie.

"I don't remember mine at all." Jacob said a little sadly. "I remember an older man now and then, in a wheelchair, but then its a blank."

"Oh." We both sat in silence till we finished our food. He stood up and walked over to the counter paying the women with a few paper bills and then heading out the door. I followed again in silence. He grabbed my hand once more and began to lead me trough the streets again. I supposed back to the house. By this time it was later in the afternoon. The big clock was reading in at one o'clock. The sun was still high in the sky.

"Here we are." Jacob said happily turning to look behind at me. We had managed to go along way through the city to one of the first parks I had seen there. And just off into the distance I could see where the blue met the slight green of the water. I could hear the splashing of the waves on a sandy beach.

"Seriously?" I looked up at him in disbelief. I couldn't believe there was such a place in the city. I smiled happily as he nodded before running off over the playground, and through the trees and down the hill and on to the beach. It wasn't the cleanest place, nor was it the prettiest beach ever. It was a skinny stretch of sand going only a yard or two from either side of me. I loved it any ways. Kicking off my shoes I plopped down into the sand and began to pry the socks off my feet.

"I knew you would like it." Jacob was there by me. I hadn't even heard him approach me. He had gotten there so fast.

"Like it? Seriously?" I asked again. I didn't like it. I loved it, it reminded me so much of the beaches down where my father lived. Finally I had my socks off and I pushed myself up from the sand and began to roll up my shorts. I could see the scars from my past attempts screaming at me. I remembered how the bandages where still tied tight to my wrists.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jacob questioned as I neared the water. I quickly dashed in without a second thought and began to splash about in the waves.

"I'm having fun!"

"But that's so dirty."

"So what!" I began to splash the water out at him. He made an attempt to block it with his arm, but finally he caved. He kicked his shoes off and dashed into the water splashing after me. I went deeper and deeper drifting off to the right and then out of no where a searing pain went trough my body.

"OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUCH!"

I was used to pain but not suddenly like that, without warning. I began to grab at my foot. I could smell the metallicness of blood, I was so used to smelling it, it was almost like I was a shark. I had used to hate the smell. I had used to pass out and get sick when ever I was around it.

"Bella!" Jacob rushed over to me. I could see the green water staining red. He quickly lifted me up into his arms, which I thought was impossible, but he was stronger than I thought. He dragged me out of the water, with my hands grabbing at my foot. "What the hell happened."

"I don't fucking know!" I screamed panicking, the blood was seeping trough my fingers as he set me on the beach and picked up my shoes and socks.

"I have to get you to a hospital." Really did that time come so fast. Was I going back to the hospital already. "Its OK, Carlisle is a doctor."

"Really?" I breathed a sigh of relief as he drew me in his arms once more. He began to run and I closed my eyes. I must have passed out, because the next thing I remembered was blackness. A warm feeling over my body, but blackness clouding my vision.


	4. The Hospital

_"I hate you."_

_It was the words that haunted me. I had been kept up all night laying in the bed I would never lay in again. They where the last words I had spoken to him. Now there was no way to take them back. I turned over, my long brown hair tangling around my shoulders. The simple action made my body ache. I had been in so much pain, emotional and physical over the past three days. Most of it was because I still refused to leave my room, so I had laid still for hours. Some was from the fact that I had been crying and most of it was the fact that my mother had come here, to the place I wanted most, and had wanted to take me away from it all. My mother could not understand the fact that I didn't want to leave. In a matter of two hours though I would be forcibly removed from the bed I now occupied and stowed away inside of my mothers car along with what little belongings I could fit inside of my backpack._

_I could see it now. My mother's boyfriend dragging me down the stairs by my feet as I tried to grab, tried to hold on to everything to make the whole process last longer. I would not cry though. I had never cried in front of my mother. It was just something I didn't do, because right now I hated my mother more than anything. I had loved him despite the words I had screamed into the darkness as the vehicle retreated. As he left me in front of the hospital doors. He left me hurt and without a helping hand. As he left me, A fragile six-year-old to cope with the pain I was feeling now. The pain of the accident, and now the pain of abandonment. I had pleaded with him to stay with me, pleaded with him not to go. Pleaded with him as much a six-year-old could. But he still left me, still abandoned me at the hospital._

_Another agonizing look at the clock told me it was five thirty-one. My mother and my mother's boyfriend, wanted to be on time for their meeting. I figured I had less than two hours. With a painful sigh I wiped my eyes and lifted my body from the bed. I grabbed the backpack I had filled with clothes and headed down the stairs of my father's house. It was easy to see the forest from the doorstep where I stood. Easy to get lost in it beauty. That's where I would hide. That's where I would run away too. My six-year-old self and my little belongings. I would hide in the forest for my mother to never find me, and when she left to get to her meeting I would go along living in my father's house. On my own. I could do it. I knew I could._

_Without a pause I went to dash for the forest and without looking back escaped into its branches. Into the safety it would give for me till my mothers departure. It wasn't long till I was lost deep with-en the forest. I was happy to be lost, not scared like I should have been. It was hours before the yells could be heard. I curled myself Into a ball, hiding in the shadows of a fallen tree. Trying desperately to avoid the search party. My attempts were wasted however. After three of four people passed they finally spotted me. A small child curled in the dirt._

_"There you are."_

* * *

I awoke with a start. My dream wasn't just a dream though, it was a vivid memory.

"Are you OK?" Carlisle asked looking up from his chart. His voice was cold, as if he was angry at me for showing up in the hospital.

"I just had a really vivid dream."

"It was probably the drugs." He stated looking back down at the clipboard before leaving.

"Is everything cool," A familiar voice asked from my left. Jacob sat there grinning from ear to ear. "You really had me worried."

"Oh shut it Jakey boy." Edward snapped entering the small room.

"And who the hell let you in here?" Jacob retorted jumping up from the chair he was sitting in.

"And who the hell want's you here, no raised hands OK." I said trying to be funny.

"Shut it Bitch." Edward snapped. I gasped before trying to jump from the bed. My foot sent a searing pain trough my body and I nearly fell over. However someone caught me, and to my surprise it wasn't Jacob.

"Your not suppose to stand on that foot." Edward said a little more kindly. It wasn't as nice as Jacob but it was better than Bitch.

"Like you care." Jacob said exasperatingly. He rolled his eyes before grabbing me from Edward, but Edward made no attempt to let go.

"You want her sooooo bad Jacob, but do you have what it takes to take her?" Edward smiled a charming half-smile before tugging on my arm.

"Just let go Edward." Jacob retorted pulling me towards him, but Edward pulled back.

"Um excuse me but Bella is not a tug rope!" I tried to be heard over the boy's conversation of who I would belong to.

"Um excuse me but Bella is not a tug rope!" Another voice repeated for me. Both boys stopped pulling and I fell back onto my hospital bed. There stood a girl with long Blond hair and Golden eyes, like all the rest of the Cullen's. "She's a Pinata, and should be beaten properly with a baseball bat."

"Hey that's not fair." Another voice popped in that I didn't recognize. Another boy was standing behind the girl. He was big and more muscular than any of the other children. He had dark brown hair, and of course the same golden eyes as the others. "You left out the part about it being a metal baseball bat."

"Leave her alone guys." Alice chimed in pushing past the others and sitting beside me on my bed. "If anything she's a delicate flower."

"That needs to be stepped on?" Jasper asked appearing at Alice's side. Now they where all gathered in my room.

"No I think there needs to be fire . I say we torch her." The new boy replied.

"No way, if you're gonna take care of a flower you rip the petals out one by one." The girl stated.

"Your both wrong." Edward said smugly. "Flowers need to be killed with poison chemicals or eaten alive."

"They are all kidding." Alice said with a hopefull smile. "Right guys?"

Her statement was met with silence. It was a good thing Alice was good at changing the subject. "Well then I don't you met Rosalie yet, or Emmett."

I nodded my head in their direction. "It's nice to met you."

"No the pleasures all mine." Emmett replied jumping on the bed and banging my foot, bywhat I would hope was an accident. "Lets get you home."


	5. Coming Home, again

Hellow everyone who is reading this.! Maacha is very happy today for she has 100 hits on this story, yay her.! The only thing that could make Maacha any happier is if you would all please Review it. Maacha thinks she might be doing something wrong, so please give her your loving criticism.! ~Love Maacha

Read and Reveiw please please please.

* * *

For the first time in years I was happy to be getting out of the hospital. The Cullen children walked me outside to their cars, well I more along the lines hobbled out on my new crutches. Jacob was behind me, which I much preferred compared to Edward. The city blurred past as I made the trip once more from the hospital bed to the Cullen's living room. Then suddenly they were gone. Jacob was being led into the kitchen by Alice despite his efforts, and Rosalie had gone off down the hall with Emmet and Jasper. It was just me and Edward now. I could feel the glow from his golden eyes as he watched me tumble to the couch. He laughed his child like laugh as if watching me fall was the funniest thing ever. It probably was. I sighed in defeat turning my eyes up to look at his god like body. _'Wait when did I start thinking like that?'_

It was a fact I could not deny however. He was very good looking...for a rude self centered prick.

_'Stop thinking like that!' _I scolded myself. He smiled as if he knew what I was thinking.

"Do you know how pathetic you look?" His voice was mocking. I glared at him this wasn't the best course of action because a new set of child like laughter ensued. This was getting pretty frustrating. I hated not being able to stand up, yet I tried anyways and failed miserably. I felt myself falling, the laughter seizing to exist. Two strong arms wrapped around my waist and I was suddenly nose to nose with Edward Cullen.

* * *

I could taste the sweetness of his breath, feel the heat and moisture against my skin and his eyes where so exhilarating as they stared into mine. As if the gold of his eyes were dancing. I held my breath trying to figure out how to move again.

"Are you OK?" He asked. I wasn't sure if he was really worried or if he was just amused. I assumed the latter of the two. His smile grew bigger just in time for a familiar Cullen voice to call out.

"What the hells going on here?" Emmett's voice called to us. Edward dropped me on the couch and turned to look up at the boy standing in the entrance to the hall. Emmett crouched down like a lion about to attack its prey and with a swift leap he was on top of Edward.

Edward wrestled around with his brother till he managed to free himself from his grasp. He gave a crooked smile. "Is that all you got?"

Emmett merely stood up and with a smile brought his fist down upon the top of my head, tears stung at my eyes but I held back my anger. Emmett was definitely much stronger than any of his other brothers. "Don't you know your not suppose to flirt with him."

It was a comment directed at me. A very absurd, very unrealistic comment, when there was no flirting going on at all. I huffed before just throwing my face in the pillows squeezing my eyes shut and pulling my bandaged foot onto the couch. Turns out that the water really was dirty. My foot had been sliced trough by a pretty sharp shard of glass laying in the sand beneath the green of the water. My foot would be fine except for maybe a scare, which didn't really bother me. I still had no memory of what had happened after I had cut myself and blanked out. I could hear the steps of the boys retreating into the hall.

Everything around me went quite. I could hear the soft laughter of the Cullen's all around me. A small par of me wanted to take part in it. While all the happiness was floating around me I felt like an outsider. An outsider in a big empty room. I didn't belong.

_"Bella?" _Someone questioned as a door creaked open. A man's voice. Emmett's voice? Carlisle's? No it wasn't any of the Cullen's. _"Don't be sad Bells."_

I opened my eyes and looked around the room. There was only one person who had ever called me Bells and he would never call me it again. The room was empty. My heart sunk, I was really hoping it was real. That voice though, It wasn't a figment of my imagination. It couldn't have. It sounded so _real. _

I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could get them, and tried to block all the light with the pillows from the couch. Bits and pieces of a face began to fall in place behind my closed lids. _'Had I really heard my fathers voice?'_

It had been so long since I had heard his voice in my mind, even longer in real life. But there it was in my moment of loneliness to cheer me up.

"Bella?" Another voice chimed in waking me from my day-dream. It was definitely female. I hardly wanted to open my eyes for fear I would forget what little of his face I had remembered. I let out a sigh as I glanced up and in the direction of the voice. Alice stood in the door way to the kitchen. Her eyes where dim and she looked worried as she Hung to the door frame. Something seemed off to me.

"Is something the matter Alice?"


	6. Bonding Moment's

(A/N) Hey everyone.! Its me again. Here with another chapter of death wish.! I really hope you all enjoy this one.

Like always Read && Review.

I love reading what you have to say. Good and bad.!

~Love Maacha.

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Alice stood there, unmoving as I asked my question.

"I'm fine." She stated calmly even though her eyes did not move.

"You don't look fine." I said glancing around the room. No one else was there. It seemed almost scary, this blank Alice. I was quickly pulled from my stare however.

"Alice! Its happening again isn't it?" I spun my head around to stare at Jasper who had appeared in the opening to the hall.

"Whats happened?" My question was ignored.

"I'm fine. But yeah." Alice said her eyes still a blank stare even as Jasper moved in front of her. "It happened again."

**"**What happened!" I said a little louder as Jasper lead Alice to the couch. It took me a second to reevaluate the fact that he was leading her. What was wrong with this picture?

"Alice these fits aren't good for you." Jasper set his sister down on the edge of the couch, just out of reach of my foot.

"I'm fine, really." Alice said, her voice high-pitched and happy, as if nothing was wrong. Although the way Jasper was reacting, I knew something definitely was wrong. "I can see my way around, even like this."

"Like what?" I nearly yelled.

"Shut." Jasper pronounced each word very carefully. "Up."

"Be nice." Alice tried again. It seemed like even when she wanted to be peace keeper her heart wasn't really in it. Or maybe it was just my paranoid brain.

"Alice goes blind." Jasper said doing his best to abide by his sisters wishes.

"Blind?" I asked a little confused.

"Yeah." Alice gave a little kid laugh. "But only temporally."

"How?" I asked still searching my mind for plausible answers.

"We don't know." Jasper sounded a little annoyed.

"Oh." My mind lacked a better word. I couldn't seem to comprehend it.

"I'm fine." Alice said again shooing Jasper away from her. For a blind girl she did a good job at getting rid of Jasper. He darted out of the room and back into the hallway again. "So what would you like for dinner?"

The question was simple and average. Not what I was expecting. She was blind! And she was asking me about dinner! "I'm not picky."

"Come on. It's your welcome home Dinner!" She stated clapping her hands.

"How?"

"Its gone." Alice said with a smile, her eyes for the first time turning to look at me. The golden glow was back. "See temporary."

"oh, kay."

"So come on.! What will it be.?"

"Ummm, actually If I give you directions can you fallow them?"

"Ohhh a special recipe!" Alice said happily jumping from the couch. She pulled me up with the same amazing strength I had seen at the hospital, the first time we had met.

"Yeah." I said with a smile as she helped me trough the dinning room and into the kitchen. She set me on a bar stool that was placed at the counter. Jacob stood behind the counter ready to cook and Alice was soon beside him.

"So what are your orders Captain?"Alice said with a giggle.

"Um. You need Chicken, Noodles, Peas, Carrots, Ummm, and salt and pepper for flavor."

"Sounds simple." Jacob said unsure. As if they hadn't made simple food before. Then again Alice did seem like the type to make something fancy.

"It is." I was happy to say this as Alice brought all the ingredients. She handed the chicken to Jacob who was pulling out a knife.

"Cut it up?" He questioned.

"Yeah really fine." I answered with a smile. "And Alice could you-"

"Got it!" She was already setting water on the stove to boil.

"OK. And you'll have to cook the pea's and carrots." I smiled as Alice set up pots on the stove and dumped the vegetables into each on individually. When the water started boiling she dumped in the noodles and stepped aside so Jacob could cook the chicken. He put a little oil in the pot and they where off. I sat carefully watching them move around me, setting the table with plates and silver wear, and cups.

"All done." Jacob said happily turning off the flames under all the pots on the stove and adding some salt and pepper to the chicken.

"OK now it all goes together."

"Like a salad!" Alice chimed happily. It seemed like she was really enjoying herself.

"Yeah." I couldn't help but laugh at her simple enjoyment. "You really like this.?"

"Yeah cooking and clothing." Alice said with a smile. "My favorite things."

"Even if everyone other than us has a different idea of a favorite pastime, which is called picking on Bella." Jacob said with a smile as the two took a bar stool on either side of me.

"This really was fun." Alice said throwing her arms around me in a hug. "I don't care what the other say. I think I'm gonna like having you as a sister. You'll get used to us."

This time the words sounded real. Like she truly meant it. I smiled as she released me. "Thanks."

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(A/N) Special thanks to katecullen Caloe, Emmett cullen fan, XxKatieMarieCullenxX, and twilightchick10101, for your awesome Reviews on chapter Five. That really made my day reading those. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

~Love Maacha.


	7. Dinner Time

(A/N) Hey everyone. Here's another chapter of Death Wish.! Sorry for the delay I was celebrating fourth of July.! Anyways this will probably be the last for a little while because I'm heading to Canada. Thats right here I come Canada.!

Read && Review.!

Lots of Love ~Love Maacha.

* * *

We sat in silence as the food we had made early sat on the table. Everyone was eating but us three. It seemed as if we had committed a crime, but I think It was more of the suspense of what everyone might say. Finally Mrs. Cullen looked up, Esme.

"This is good Alice." She smiled Kindly at her daughter, I had never seen her smile like this. Mainly that was because I hadn't seen her too much. I had been in the hospital for the most part. "I love coming home to you're cooking."

"Don't thank me." Alice said with a smile. Everyone looked up to see what she was talking about. It was easy to guess that Alice usually made the food. All eyes where on her as she spoke the next few words. "Bella made it."

"What?" I heard all the Cullen's gasp, their jaws dropping. Everyone was shocked but Alice, Jacob, adn I continued to poke at our food. We where the only ones who already knew this small bit of information. Alice was still smiling and soon she too was eating. Jacob followed suit as the rest of the Cullen's turned there eyes on me. I could feel there golden stares. My head felt dizzy and I thought I would pass out. I sat stone cold, unmoving.

"Well good job then." Esme turned her smile on me. A rush of warmth spread over me. She had really smiled at me. It was the same Kindness she had shown to Alice.

"I just gave her the recipe."

"It tastes good." Carlisle smiled and the two adults began eating again. It seemed like they actually enjoyed it. I smiled too and It seemed as if I could relax now. My parents accepted me even if most of their children didn't.

"Poison." I heard the shout come from next to Jasper. Edward. He stood up at his chair. His glare pierced my heart as I looked up at him. His golden eyes enraged. "Why the hell would you let her cook!"

"She's trying to kill us all!"Rosalie Jumped from her chair and stormed out of the room and into the kitchen. A bit melodramatic.

"How could you do this Alice!" It was Edwards turn to yell again.

"Don't blame Alice!" Jasper jumped up defending his sister. He stared Edward down with his golden stare. It seemed to last forever.

"It's that damn girls fault." Edward roared. "I thought you where on my side."

"If Alice likes her, I'll have no problem with putting up with her." Jasper whispered glancing at Alice who sat behind him at her chair still eating the food. **"**Plus none of the others have died yet."

A bowl flew from where Emmett sat and smashed against Jasper's chest. "Oh shut up."

"Not you too Emmett." Alice whispered. Emmett was standing up now as well, in the same type of rage as Edward.

"I'm not eating this shit." Edward spat at Jasper.

"Then make your own food." Jasper said calmly. "I think it tastes just fine."

"Fine." The two boys stormed off into the kitchen and Jasper took his seat beside Alice once more before he too began to eat again. The rest of the dinner went by quietly. Only Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jacob, Jasper, and myself sat around the table. The other three chairs remained empty the rest of the meal.

"How about we go see a movie." Esme chimed in after she cleared the dishes. "To welcome our new daughter."

"That's a great Idea Esme." Carlisle wrapped his arms around his wife's waist and kissed her neck.

"Really!" Alice squealed happily. She jumped from her chair.

"Then it's agreed." Carlisle smiled.

"Lets go!" Alice smiled at me. I didn't return it. I looked back down at my foot. It wasn't in a cast or anything. It was just cut really bad. They had kept me in the hospital for two whole days. Today was the fifth day of my new home. Day one was spent watching T.v. Day two I spent with Jacob. Days three and four where spent in the hospital. Today was my return and the fifth day in my new home. I didn't think my foot could make it. Alice seemed to understand what I was thinking. "Oh."

"Its OK.**"** Carlisle smiled walking over to my chair where I sat. He got down on his knees and lifted my foot up. He began to undo the bandage and I finally got to see what I had done. It didn't look bad at all. Maybe that's why It didn't hurt too much. It was only a scratch really.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"I only made you stay an extra day to get these kids to get used to you a little better." He smiled up at me. "It was more blood then usually but it wasn't a bad cut really."

"Sorry." Jacob smiled sheepishly.

"So the movies are still on?" Alice asked happily. It seemed unreal that such a deep cut would heal so quickly.

"If Bella wants them to be."

"OK." I smiled. "To the movies!"

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(A/N) Special thanks to, katecullen Caloe, for the review.!


	8. Flirty McFlirt Flirt

(A/N) Maacha's back with a new chapter of Death Wish. My vacation sucked, so it was a relief to be able to write. It rained on me the whole time. Like lightning. What a crappy vacation. The stars where amazing though.

So like always READ AND REVIEW.!

~Love, Maacha.

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I sat in the car wondering what I was going to do next. This was really starting to make me jumpy. Here I was sitting as still as possible while the people who hated me so much where crowding around me. Sure the car fit us all smugly but it was more of the awkward silence that was bugging me so much. Carlisle and Esme sat in the front of the black van while the three people who hated me sat in the middle seat, Rosalie, Edward, and Emmett. Meanwhile I was seated in the very back seat next to the window, Alice fuming cheerfully next to me, followed by Jasper. Jacob was content with sitting in the trunk area of the van.

It wasn't long before I was day dreaming in the back seat. It seemed almost as if I was in a dream. Her voice was there. It was harsh now that my father had died. No harsh wasn't the word. It was stone cold. Without any feeling at all towards me. I guess I reminded her too much of him. I was the same with her. I loved her, but she was just there. I didn't feel like I could talk to her anymore. She wouldn't understand. Again, She didn't love him like I did. It was two years after the accident I was eight now. We where still fighting. She was married now though, to her boyfriend.

* * *

_"Bella?" Her voice came out cold, I knew she didn't mean it. "Bella are you awake?"_

_"Huh?" My eyes blinked open and I stared trough the front window. Only to have the reality of where we were come crashing down on me. "What the hell are we doing here?"_

_Forks surrounded me. Well not quite forks but the reservation. The beach. The memories started flooding back and I kicked the back of her chair._

_"Stop acting like a baby," Her boyfriend stated getting out of the car. "Where on vacation."_

_"Vacation?" I screamed. "More like hell!"_

_"Stop that cussing right now." My mother's voice came into the argument. "Your eight, not twenty-seven."_

_"What ever." I was being a brat but they had no right to bring me back here after dragging me away the last time. I refused to get out of the car._

_"Bella get out here now."_

_"No."_

_"Bella."_

_"No."_

_My answer was short simple and to the point. I wasn't going to move. I wasn't going to step one foot back in Forks. Not now, not ever._

* * *

"Bella you coming?"

"No." My answer came automatic, without thinking about it. I shook my head violently. It took me a second to come back to reality. The Cullen's where all ready out of the car, and all eyes where on me, and my refusal to leave the family's car. **"**I-I m-mean yeah."

"Then lets go." Jacob held his hand out to help me out of the back. He was the one who had brought me out of my day-dream. He smiled at me and I of course smiled back. It was odd. I could remember their voices so clearly, but I couldn't remember anything about him.

"What are we going to see?" Alice was by my side again happily skipping her way across the parking lot.

"The proposal, its suppose to be funny." Esme winked at Alice.

"Great a romance." Jacob rolled his eyes. The feet of the three Cullen's stopped. Rosalie and Emmett stood stone cold, as well as Edward, only Edward was making a slight snarling noise. It kind of scared me.

"Don't be so angry you guys." Esme smiled at them and they began dragging their feet towards the theater, for some reason they where putty in Esme's hands. Her voice was so soft and kind it was hard to believe anyone could ever deny her of what she wanted.

"Why don't you guys like the idea?" I asked, knowing I pushing it.

"Because of you." Jasper whispered, obviously he still wasn't to fond of me. He rushed forward to join the other three Cullen's that hated me. Alice and Jacob stood beside me faithfully though. What was every ones issue with me. I didn't understand it.

"Tickets for nine." Carlisle smiled paying for the tickets. The Cullen's had scattered and I had managed to find my way to the Dance dance revolution game, falshing lughts seemed to attract me, while Jacob went with Jasper, Edward, and Emmett to get food. Rosalie and Alice had wound up heading to the bathroom and of course Carlisle and Esme where paying for tickets.

"Wanna play." A sly voice asked from beside me. I turned to see a face smiling at me. It was almost devious. I smiled back a shy smile of my own and jumped up on the machine. He followed me and put in the money. Soon my feet were tied up with the notes, pounding the buttons as the arrows came up on-screen. I was winning, even though I had to admit I was tripping up so very often, with slight pain in my foot. Mostly my trip landing me on the correct button though. Amazingly this was the only thing I could do right. I laughed as the bell went off and declared me the winner.

"So what is the name of the beautiful girl who beat me?" Was this guy seriously hitting on me?

"Bella. Bella..." I couldn't pick out my favorite last name, nor did I wanna use my new one.

**"**Bella. A pretty name for a pretty girl." He smiled taking my hand and kissing it. "The names Mike. Mike Newton."

"Haaa," The evil voice I had been so keen to avoid was in my ear. He slung his arm over my shoulder and I winced. "What do you think you're doing Newton.?"

"Cullen." Mike's smile faded into a hard-line. "I should have known."

"Yeah Newton." Edwards voice spoke out again. "Back off."

"I'll see you around Bella." Mike sighed angrily. I could see he was fighting the urge to punch Edward in the face. I didn't blame him.

"See ya around Mike." I smiled before spinning around to face Edward. "What do you think you're doing."

"Playing you." He smiled popping the money into the machine. He selected the hardest level with the hardest song and soon my feet where tied up, he shoved me and I tripped falling on my ass. He however remained perfectly calm as he danced his numbers ahead of me. I recovered quickly however and jumped to my feet again to prance along the little colored arrows. He shoved me once more and I stumbled as he laughed The screen dispalying player two as the winner. Edward.

If looks could kill, I was trying to murder him.

"Calm down Barbie. The movies starting soon." He smiled walking off, leaving me on my ass.

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(A/N) Special thanks to Hawktalon. of. Windclan for the review.! It's always appreciated. Sadly I've never seen 'Up' so I'm unable to write about it. =(


	9. The Movie

(A/N) Another chapter is here for your enjoyment.

Read and Review and ENJOY.!

~Love Maacha.

* * *

So here I was standing in line to get into a movie with my new family. Carlisle handed the tickets to the man and we filed in to the theater. It seemed as if nothing would go right. When we entered the theater I felt the group of us split. Esme and Carlisle sat together, Alice and Jasper had found a secluded spot and Emmett and Rosalie had also formed their own little group. They had scattered around in a big circle, Alice and Jasper sat up front close to the screen, Carlisle and Esme off to the left and Emmett and Rosalie had managed to find seats in the very back. It was just me, Jacob and Edward.

"Jake!" A voice called from somewhere off to my right. In the seats where a boy and a girl.

"Leah, Seth!" Strike that. Me and Edward. Jacob plopped down into the seat next to the boy of the group jusgt as the lights where starting to dim and the theater was filling.

"They did this on purpose." Edward grumbled as he pulled me by the arm into an empty pair of seats, in what seemed like the dead center of the movie theater. Just in time. It was completely dark now and the screen was flickering green. I had never been so out-of-place. I twirled my thumbs while trying to keep my attention on the screen. "Stop that."

His hand came down yanking at my hands and holding it in his own. His fingers where cold like stone. It must have been the air conditioning. "What-"

"Watch the movie." He instructed. I did as I was told and watched the movie play out on-screen. It was like Jacob had stated; a romance movie. It reminded me a little of me and Edward. The fact that he hated me and was always messing with me. Only there was no love in the mix of our relationship.

"Why do you hate me?" I took the opportunity to spring my attack.

"Sush." He warned me glaring at the screen.

"You'll have to tell me sometime." I persisted. I knew I was being annoying while he tried to focus on the screen. His glare proved it was working.

"Later." I was surprised as his glare vanished and he laughed at something the movie said. I turned my attention back to the screen as well, his fingers never leaving mine. There was a nagging part in my brain that told me we looked like a couple, the way he held my hand. He laughed again and this time I caught what had been funny, I couldn't help but laugh to. The movie was nice even with our particular circumstances.

I could pick up the musical laughs of the other Cullen's and the more husky laugh of Jacob trough out the theater. The movie ended after an hour or so, and I really didn't want to let go of Edwards hand, for some reason it was just slightly comforting. The lights flickered on and Edward held tight to my hand, making sure I could not stand up.

"What are you doing?" I asked watching as everyone was leaving, panic rising up in me. He yanked me to the floor. I could feel his breath on my face and hear his breathing. It was an odd predicament, like how we had been in the living room.

"Don't let them see you." Edward warned poking his head up for only a moment. He released me after a few minutes passed.

"Every ones gone." I said, stating the obvious, after seeing the empty theater.

"My parents want us to be alone. I'll show them what leaving you with me can do." He smiled his crooked smile leaving me thinking only one thing. This could not end well.

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(A/N) Thanks for the reviews.! Hawktalon. of. Windclan, I haven't gone to see Harry Potter yet but I really want to. I bet it was great. Harry Potter is beast-in. Its an amazing book series, but they cut so much out of the movies sometimes. . Thanks for telling me about the whole Emmett thing, I hadn't even realized I had been spelling it wrong, I'm not the best speller, but I am using the names from the book, or trying anyways. and awww your poor cat ha ha. Thanks also to Orangeduck23, I hope I answered your question in the above (A/N) and Thanks to Emmett cullen fan also for the lovely reviews.! Your input definitely means a lot to me guys.!


	10. Frist Drink

(A/N) Hey everyone. Sorry for the long pause in my writing. But here is another chapter of Death Wish just for you guys.

READ AND REVIEW.!

~Lots of Love Maacha.

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I stared wildly around the now empty theater. The way he said that last comment definitely wasn't helping the fear rising up inside of my body.

"Come on." He grabbed my arm and began to drag me out into the hall where it was once again, empty. Not a single person. He had waited just long enough to have everyone clear of the area. I made to walk towards the main entrance where all the rest of the people had gone, but one yank on my arm and I was being led in the other direction towards A side door.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously, fear still eating away at me. He didn't answer. He just scanned the street with his eyes before yanking me towards the crowded front street. He managed to keep a strong hold on my arm even as he yanked me trough the crowds of people. I could feel his fingers digging tighter into my skin. I was sure to have a bruise when this was all over.

He turned down another side street and began walking away from the crowd. The sun must have set while we where in the movie because it was completely dark down this street without the bright lights that the main street held. I blinked my eyes trying to adjust to the change, I was completely night blind.

"Come on." He repeated. His eyes seemed like they where full of excitement.

"Come on where?" I asked once more, once again I received no answer. I was starting to feel like a kidnap victim.

"EDWARD!" A voice yelled from the darkness. It seemed like we had walked for hours. I looked up just in time to read the sign that hung above the bars door before the light flashed and I was slightly blinded. _'Legends'_

"Hey Mimi." It seemed like a made up name. Her bubble gum pink bob and pink contacts made it seem even more fake.

"Eddie dear I missed you." She through her arms around his neck and I was released from his grip. They began to kiss and I looked away letting a few moments pass, only to be pulled by another hand into the bar. The door shut behind me leaving the slut with the player outside.

"Hey, your Edwards friend right?" I blinked looking at the man who had saved me from the scene outside.

"I wouldn't say a friend." I answered honestly as he slipped something into his pocket. .

"Oh, His sister right?" He smiled at me and I relaxed just a little.

"Yeah." I looked at the door before glancing back at the man. He was definitely not in his twenties. "How old-"

"They serve underage here." He smiled leading me towards the back of the bar where a couple of tables sat abandoned. "Want something to drink?"

"I don't drink." I said a little faster than I had meant to, I was so nervous. We really shouldn't have been here. Why the hell did Edward have to be such a prick, and more over why did I have to be so gullible and go with him.

"Then how about an orange soda?" He smiled. Something didn't seem right. But Edward wouldn't put me in real danger. Would he?

"Okay." I nodded my head agreeing reluctantly. "That sounds OK."

"Alright I'll be right back." He slipped away into the crowd and I took a seat in the closest empty chair.

"Hey pretty lady." Another voice whispered in my ear. I spun around to see a taller older man with shaggy brown hair and a beard. He definitely seemed off. It twitched my fingers unable to move my eyes from him, for fear that if I did he would pounce upon me. He seemed like one of those child rapists I was constantly hearing about.

"Leave her alone man." The boy was back. I welcomed the sight of his short cut blond hair and his brown eyes. He smiled at me as the man grumbled some words and walked off. He set a glass of what appeared to be orange soda on the counter.

"Thanks." I smiled taking the cup in my hand. I began to sip the liquid down, it didn't taste like orange soda, I wasn't too different tasting, but I still pushed it away. He motioned for me to drink and I tried it again. It tasted flat.

"So whats your name?" I looked up as the bell on the door sounded and in walked Edward with his slutty girlfriend dangling from his arm.

"Bella." I answered a bit angrily. I didn't know why seeing him with that slut made me so mad, excpesially when he was so mean.

"That's a pretty name." I looked over to see he had sat down only to get back up again. "Want a refill."

"Umm." I looked down to see I had finished off the drink. "Alright."

"Be back." He winked and walked away again.

"Hey Bella." I looked behind me to see Edward sitting at the table his girlfriend no where in sight. I let my eyes search the room for her before falling back on him. "She's not here."

"What ever." I turned in my chair just as the boy was coming back. He sat the glass on the table and I drank it even faster than the other one. This time he merely waved his hand in the air and the bartender walked over another glass. My head was racing as I chugged the third and fourth drinks. The boy continued to ask questions about myself and the bartender continued to bring me drinks, but I noticed not once did he touch one himself.

"Bella." Edward slapped the latest glass out of my hands and it smashed to the ground. I watched as some thing that looked like a tum sat in the puddle of orange and broken glass, slightly desolved.

"What the hell dude!" The boy I was with shouted at Edward.

"What the heck to you think you're doing?"

"You told me-"

"I told you to get her drunk not slip her a roofie." Edward shouted before grabbing my wrist and yanking me off of my chair. My legs wobbled and I nearly fell.

"Don't be so maaaad Ediiiiiie." My words slurred and I wobbled again.

"Bella." He growled my name before throwing one of my arms around his neck.

"Yoooooour sooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuute." I cooed at him like a baby.

"Stop that." He slapped my hand away from his face as I tried to rub his head.

"Sooooo cuuute." I cooed again trying once more. He slapped my hand away again and began to drag me out of the bar. I tripped and fell, taking us both down.

"Bella." He growled my name again. pushing himself up from the floor then helping me up.

"Eyyyyyy can I getcho number." I laughed before laughing hysterically.

"Stop acting stupid." Edward lifted me into his arms, and tossed me over his shoulder.

"Youuuuu muuust be a paaarking- paaaaaaarking ticket Cuz-" I erupted into laughter again. "Youuuu got fiiiiiiine written all over youuuu."

He yanked me out of the bar and began walking down the street. I heard the faint jingle of the bell and footsteps running behind him. I was thrown forward and felt my head smack against the ground.

"What the hell." The boys voice was back. "You said I could have her tonight."

"That was before." I opened my eyes to see the boy throw a punch at Edward and him block it way to easily. He began to pummel the boy, I couldn't watch it all though. My eyes closed and I drifted off into the blackness of unconsciousness.

* * *

(A/N) Special thanks to my reviewers.! Hawktalon. of. Windclan your cat would be pretty kick ass if it was a vamp. I would totally kitty nap from it from you. I finally got to see Harry Potter too, I was kick ass just like your cat.! Haaa. And another thanks to BC cutie. This wont be the end of the trouble Edward gets Bella into.


	11. The Mystery of Edward Cullen

(A/N) Soooo sorry for the delay guys, but here it is a new chapter ready for your enjoyment. Remember read and review.!

~Love Maacha.!

* * *

***Edward POV***

"Baaaaaaaby. Lets go to Cali." She was talking again. She never seemed to shut up. _'That's what you get for paying someone to get her drunk.'_.

I was mad at the guy for trying to drug her, I was mad at her for being so naive but mostly I was mad at myself for being so stupid. I didn't like her, but that didn't mean I had to try to kill her every five seconds. Maybe I didn't have to be so mean. She was only there because of my parents, only there because she had moved on. Damn it, why did I have to think of her. That girl. She had such a strong hold on me. She was why I had gone so wrong. Was that why they where doing this to me. Did they think bringing in another girl would just make everything better? Well It wouldn't. I would make sure of that. Yet I couldn't help but feel something towards the girl I now carried on my back. Damn she was getting heavy.

* * *

*Bella POV*

I woke to the smell of sweat and blood. Something that wouldn't have bothered me if I hadn't gotten a really bad headache when I tried to move. Strong arms where supporting me. I could feel them wrapped under my legs. So steady, they where walking so steady who ever was caring me. I was so tired I just laid my head back down on his shoulder and closed my eyes. The pain was even worse now. I just wanted it to go away. Just melt away. I just wanted to melt away. It seemed like a stupid Idea, but soon I was back in my darkness. My wall of protection.

* * *

*Edward POV*

She had moved. Had she woken up? It seemed likely but she had fainted again. How long could she stay passed out on my back. I had caried her forever. I didn't mind, damn it I was going out of my mind! Of course I minded. I hated it. Hated being used by this girl. Hated her for what she had done to me. She had made me week. I knew it. I hadn't known her long at all, hadn't even liked her, and she was already starting to replace that hole, the other had left. Why the hell was it making me feel like this. So helpless. She was so helpless. GOD DAMN HER!

* * *

_"Hold on Bells!" My father yelled holding me on his back. He began to run down the street. I was probably only three. I looked it. I laughed hysterically as he came to a stop. I could hear my mothers soft laughter behind us._

_"Again! Again!" I exclaimed bouncing up and down. How immature I was acting. He just laughed a pat my head._

_"Be a good girl Bells." It felt as if I was growing taller. I was four now. His hand was still on my head as it had been before. It was my birthday and he was standing beside me. My feet left the ground as his hands slid under my arms and lifted me to the horse the was before us. He smiled leading it around in a circle. I was laughing just as I had done when I was on his back. His smile._

_He was in a cop car now, older, but not much. I was outside, why? Why was I outside? Why was he leaving me? His car was driving away and he was smiling back at me. Then a bright flash of white. He was gone._

* * *

*Bella POV*

I couldn't breath. I couldn't move. There where arms wrapped around me. I started to wiggle. Edward Cullen was holding me on his back. "Put me down!"

"Stop squirming I'm going to-" It was too late he was already falling, dropping me. I hit the ground. Not as hard as I expected. He stood up quickly and left me on the ground. I jumped up and brushed myself off. The dream had startled me, I had blocked out that part of my past, but here it was staring me in the face. Edward had something to do with my past, other wise these memories would not be coming up. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was.

"Why are you-" I was cut off.

"I'll explain later."

"Explain now." I demanded standing up and folding my arms over my chest. He began to walk away. I sighed in annoyance and followed him. Some day, some how, I would find out just what Edward Cullen meant to me. What he was in my past. What he had done. I couldn't help but have the feeling his lions eyes where staring me down, even as he walked in front of me. It was unnerving to say the least, and the worst part was, I had a terrible headache, heck my whole body was aching, and I couldn't remember anything after I had talked to the nice man at the bar. My stomach heaved and I had to stop. My knees where becoming week and I doubled over before throwing up.

"Hey are you OK?" Edward turned to face me, for once he was worried. Not mad, not angry, not hurt, he was worried. About me. Very carefully he lifted me on to his back once more and I was out, with the smell of blood and sweat filling my nose.


	12. Never love again

(A/N) N.J Maacha here with another chapter. I'm trying to get out as many as possible before I head of to vacation and you don't get anymore for another week. Haha. So here it is.

Read and Review.!

~Love Maacha.!

* * *

"What the hell Edward!"

I could hear the voices but I didn't dare move. I was on the sofa, and something was cuddled up next to me. Protecting me. Strong arms, and the smell. The smell of blood and sweat still lingered. Edward. My eyes flashed open to see him laying there, still asleep next to me. He was so still, he must have been exhausted from carrying me all the way home. It couldn't have been easy.

"Shhh."

I poked my head up and held a finger to my lips, he moved slightly and I ducked back down to lay next to him. I owed him. I hadn't even thanked him last night. I sighed closing my eyes, and then his opened. It was melodramatic. My heart skipped a beat and I took in a very sharp gust of air.

"Shut up Rose." His voice was sharp but his golden eyes where kind, they never left my face. What had happened last night to make him do a total one-eighty, personality wise. What had triggered this new Edward?

"Edward what the hell!" A new voice. I poked my head up and Edward sat up jumping from his place of rest. Alice was standing there in a black fluffy dress. She was smiling, unlike Rosalie.

"I have a headache." He complained rasing a hand to his head. "I must have been too drunk to relize who it was, I was laying next to."

My face showed shock. I could feel it. Like a waterfall crashing down. He was lying. He was lying about why he was next to me, and I couldn't tell why. He was back to being his normal crabby self. Worst he was covering it up.

"Come on Bella." Alice was beside me helping me from the couch and I smiled. "Mom and Dad are out, let's get you in the shower."

I nodded grateful before heading towards my room. Edwards door was already shut tight and I could hear his voice talking in a hushed whisper to Jasper and Emmett. Rosalie had followed me and Alice to my room but turned into her own before I had time to close my door. Alice was already sitting on my bed bouncing like a child. "Tell me what happened."

"I don't remember." I answered after a pause. I glanced up at her. She patted the bed for me to sit beside her, and I took the offer. "I really just remember him carrying me home last night. I think I had too much to drink."

"I didn't know you drank."

"I don't."

"Edward." She growled his name.

"Its OK!" I threw my hands up in a defensive gesture. "I'm OK. No harm no foul."

"He shouldn't have."

"He didn't really."

"Then who did?"

"Some guy I met." It was the truth. I couldn't even remember his name now. There was one image I clearly remembered, but it wasn't much. Edward almost killing the guy. Was he alright? She growled again before standing from the bed.

"Go get a shower." She left my room, and I followed shortly after. I hoped in the shower and relaxed. It felt good. The hot water relaxed my muscles. I had always enjoyed showers. They gave me a time to think and right now I had a lot to think about.

* * *

*Edward POV*

"What the hell where you thinking Edward?" Jasper whispered to me. I let my golden eyes glare at the floor.

"They are just so alike." I shruged. "How the hell am I suppose to hurt her."

"No ones asking you to hurt her. We all agreed will hate her, till you accept her. Group effort."

"Yeah Eddie boy, if you've fallen-" Emmett started.

"I haven't _fallen_ in love." I snapped at him. We had been discussing the night before with Bella. There was no way she could be anything like that girl. This was _Bella_. This was the girl I had hurt so long ago. The girl who-. I had to stop myself from thinking. I hated her. I had to hate her. It would never work out. I couldn't make the same mistake twice.

"She's no Serena." I looked up to see Rose entering our room. Serena. The girl before Bella. The one who Carlisle had hand picked himself, the girl Esme had sworn would fill that hole.

"She's no Katrina Either." Jasper cut in.

"No Ester either." Emmett added. We all laughed. Ester had been some short skinny girl who stuttered every time she opened her mouth. We had all thought she was wierd even compared to our family.

"No she's more difficult than them all combined." I whispered letting my golden gaze look around the room.

"Because you have an existing relationship." Alice was now in the room too. How many people could we fit in here?

"I told you, this girl would be the one."

"To hell she will." I growled. I hated the thought of filling the hole. It was there for a reason. "No one could ever replace Tyna."

"No they won't. But there's always room in your heart to love again." Alice tried a more cunning aproach. "You guys have chemistry."

"I wont accept her."

"I thought you'd say that but what about last night."

"Nothing happened." I snapped standing up. "Nothing will ever happen. I'll always hate her."

"Always?" Alice was really getting on my nerves now.

"Always." I slammed the door behind me.

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(A/N) Special thanks to my reviewers.! twilightchick10101 your review made me smile, and .Windclan I don't want Edward to be so mean, its just necessary. I'm sorry Edward for making you so mean . haha.


	13. Sorry, Not sorry

(A/N) Hey everyone. Last chapter for another week. I'm heading to South Carolina to enjoy the sun, beach, and cute boys. Please enjoy the last chapter for a little while.

~Love Maacha.

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It might have been stupid but it seemed as I sat trough breakfast, that Edward seemed to be glaring at me more than usual. I had just finished my shower so it couldn't have possibly been the way I smelled. I smelled like strawberries. Then his eyes flickered to my wrist and I looked down. I felt stupid now. I tucked my hands under the table to hide the scars. There where plenty enough for someone to stare at. Then again the slight scare on my neck was also quite visible today. The whole table was quite. Esme and Carlisle had gone away yet again, leaving Jasper as head of the house. I couldn't eat.

"Are you OK Bella." Alice smiled but I flinched as she went to touch my hand. Something I should not have done. I stood up quickly and mumbled my apology before hurrying out of the room and back to my own place of safety. My bedroom. I flopped onto the bed and tried to close out my mind, tried to remember why the hell I was staying in this house more than normal.

_'You have friends here.'_ It was the only thing my mind could come up with. I had always been popular in the homes I was in. A popular item to stare at. Not to communicate with. Here though, here where people who talked to me, hung out with me, and some times even acknowledged my existence. I could stay here for longer if I wanted to, the cuts on my arm where healing, but I didn't want to leave. Why didn't I want to leave?

_'Memories.'_ It was another word that surfaced. My mind was giving me to many answers, but it was true. I hadn't remembered so much for so long. I had closed out those parts of my past. I had made sure to forget what my childhood had been like, focused on the new homes, the many last names, the different places I had stayed. It was so frustrating. My mind was dull a second longer as my thoughts escaped me and I found it harder to concentrate. I was crying. I couldn't think of why but the water was streaming down my face and my breathing was shallow and uneven. I was crying. Crying because now I wanted to remember, I wanted this family to love me. In a way I wanted Edward to love me.

* * *

*Edward POV*

"Now look what you did." Alice snapped at me. I was staring angrily at her. It wasn't my fault the girl was so upset. So why the hell was Alice getting on my case. Alice was usually on my side. She was one of the closest of all my family members, I hardly ever fought with her, and here that girl was turning everything upside down.

"Alice calm down." Jasper said quietly before continuing to finish breakfast. The rest of them also ignored the argument.

"I'll go talk to her." I finally agreed before getting up from the table. I couldn't stand to argue with Alice, mostly because I knew she was right. Bella was upset because I had done something. In a normal case, where they brought in a new child and I made her life hell, I wouldn't dare apologize, but something about this girl made me want to protect her, from everything and anything that would ever possibly cause her harm. Including myself, I knocked on the door. Once. Twice. Three times. Finally I twisted the handle and let myself in. She was there on the bed. Sleeping.

"Bella." I whispered her name, afraid to wake her, and get the worst side of her anger. She didn't move. I sat down on the bed. Nothing. I pushed her ever so slightly. Nothing. Harder. Nothing. Again. Nothing. "Bella?"

She wasn't dead. She couldn't be. I checked the mattress, nothing red, and I couldn't smell blood. Just water and salt. Tears? She had cried. I growled to myself. I hadn't meant to make her cry. It wasn't my fault this girl was an emotional wreak. My eyes flashed over to the door and a movement spread over the bed, my eyes flashed back to her. She was pretty when she had been crying. Her cheeks where stained with tears, and her hair was a mess, but she still looked beautiful.

_'Stop that Edward.'_ I cautioned myself. _'Remember last time. Remember Tyna.'_

Tyna. The girl who made life impossible to be without her. The girl who made every moment of every day more enjoyable. Till she died. Till she one day left and got herself killed. Bella had that horrible experience too, she had lost her whole family. Maybe that's why he was drawn to her. Maybe that's why there was a connection.

I couldn't resist. I lifted my hand and brushed back her hair and kissed her forehead, trying to comfort her. Her eyes popped open.

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(A/N) Thank you to my reviewers, animal8, Dani-1811, and my faithful reviewer who never misses a chapter, .Windclan. You guys made me smile with your reviews.


	14. To forget, or not to Forget

(A/N) Sorry for the long pause but I'm back from vacation and back to writing. Another chapter of Death wish is finally out. I have been neglecting my other stories for this one. I'll go back to them when I'm done this one I think but I like this one too much to do much work on the other ones. haha.

Like always Read and Review.

~Love Maacha.

* * *

My eyes snapped open as I felt a warmth brush over my face. It was too late, my breathing was shallow and fast and I jumped away from the grasp of Edward Cullen. I pushed myself the farthest I could get away from him on my queen sized bed.

"I wasn't going to hurt you." It was his instant response.

"Then what the hell where you doing just now?"

"I was making sure you where OK." He lifted his hands showing his wrists.

"I wouldn't do that."

"Then what where all those visits to the hospital for?"

I was silent. I jumped from the bed and tried to make my escape but he stood in my way.

"Move." The word came harsh and quite.

"Sit." His word was more forceful and I did as I was told. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Shock came over my face, I tried to hide it but it was too late. This was the boy who hated me. The boy who glared at me every chance he got and he was saying sorry.

"I'm sorry your such a filthy slut."

"What?" That blow hit harder than the first. Who was he to come into my room and insult me.

"It's your fault I'm fighting with my family, Its your fault I can't move on with my life, and It's your fault I have to treat you badly. Sorry, not sorry."

"Now wait just a second-" My bedroom door slammed in my face. I was angry and the tears where rolling down my face. I had never been so frustrated at a boy before. Normally they didn't insult me but just talked behind my back. I had always told myself when the time came I wouldn't cry, it wouldn't hurt me, and I would fight back with everything I had. That's exactly what I would do. Tonight when he least expected it, I would get back at Edward Cullen. He wouldn't call me a slut and get away with it.

* * *

*Edward POV*

I sighed as I retreated down the hallway. I had done it again. I had insulted her when all I really wanted to do was be nice. It just wasn't possible to be nice to that girl.

"You messed up again." Alice spoke up behind me. She was good at that. She must have stood on the other side of her door listening very carefully.

"No." I denied that I had screwed up. "She made me mess up."

"You can't always blame them." She shook her head in disapproval before motioning me to fallow he into her room. I did as I was told before sitting on her bed and watching her pace the floor.

"Do you remember?"

"Aren't these bed covers just lovely." She avoided the question. She knew what I was talking about I could see it on her face.

"Who she was." I paused looking at the floor. "Do you remember Tyna?"

I could feel the weight difference on the bed. She was sitting beside me. "I do."

"Yeah."

"You can't live in the past you know."

"Yeah."

"She was one girl."

"Yeah."

"People die."

"Yeah."

"Stop saying that." She snapped jumping from the bed.

"She was our sister."

"Bella's our sister."

"They where so alike." I said running my hand trough my bronze hair.

"You could say that. They are both strong."

"What's Bella's history?"

"Hm?"

"We have her hospital history but I don't know who exactly she is. We have a past together but I can't remember her." I sighed looking up at Alice.

"You have to ask her."

"Can you?" I pleaded. I couldn't ask her. I always screwed up when I tried talking to her.

"I'll try in the morning."

"Thanks." I stood up from the bed and left making my way to my room. The room I shared with my brother Jasper.

"How did it go?" He was sitting on the bed waiting for me.

"Does everyone have to know what goes on in this house?" I asked throwing myself onto my bed. We shared a room with twin beds, not nearly as big as Bella's separate Queen size bed.

"Yeah. Sorta Kinda." He smiled. "It's hard to keep secrets in this house."

"Really now?" I smiled amused at the words he feed to me, words I had used on him when I had discovered that He and Alice where secretly dating. It was OK, considering we where only adopted brothers and sisters.

"You like her."

"Is it that clear?"

"Painfully."

There was a moment of silence where we both just sat still listening to the noises around us.

"Its hard to be around her. She reminds me of Tyna too much."

"We can't replace that one."

Another moment of silence.

"But she's better then the rest."

"And you actually like her." Jasper added.

"Emmett would kill me if he heard that."

"He would make fun of you forever." Jasper nodded in agreement.

We laughed. It was easier to talk to Jasper, Emmett always made things into a joke, Alice was easy too. She was calm while you never knew what to expect from Rosalie.

"We can keep her."

"You sound like she's a lost dog." I laughed.

"In a way she is." It kinda made since. She was lost.

"I want to know more."

"About her?"

"Yeah."

"Alice gonna find out?"

"Yeah."

"Then enough thinking. Lets watch some T.v"

"Fine." I jumped from the bed and we both made our way out to the living room and took our lazy seats on the sofa and flicked on ESPN, where the latest baseball game highlights where playing.

* * *

(A/N) Thanks for the reviews! .Windclan They are Humans, sorry for the confusion. A lot of people ask that. Thank you also to animal8 and CahBigaiski I'm glad you guys like it. I'm hoping to reveal who Bella is and who this mystery Tyna is soon. :0 stay tuned and keep reviewing!


	15. Team Bella

(A/N) Here is another chapter everyone. Read and Review please? Your reviews are what keeps me writing!

~Love Maacha

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I should have known better then to think I could stay locked up in my room for the rest of the day. Both Alice and Jacob had come to visit me, switching every hour or so. I guess they where afraid of the cuts. That I would be tempted to make more.

"You must be hungry?" Alice mused as she lay sprawled out across my bed. I merely shrugged. I was hungry no doubt about it, but I didn't want to go out with Edward still in the house. Alice sat up abruptly. **"**Fine then. Tell me about you."

"Huh?" She had caught me off guard.

"Who was Bella before she became a Cullen?" A smile was playing on her lips. I was still horrified. I had blocked out the memories of the old Bella. Of the Bella who was afraid of pain. Of the Bella who got sick when she smelled even the slightest drop of blood. The Bella that had been loved. The weak Bella. I had forgotten all about Bella Swan. "Bella?"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts to see Alice had grown worried. I tried to give a reassuring smile. **"**Do you want to hear about Bella Hobbs. Or Bella Geneva. Bella Christ or Bella Buford? I've had a lot of homes. A lot of names."

"Tell me about them all." She smiled at me. She looked like a five year old waiting to hear a magical story, about princes and white horses and Fairies. My story wasn't like that. It was more like dragons and pain and tears. She laid back on the bed and looked up at me with those golden eyes.

"All of what?" Jacob was standing in the door way. It must have been his turn to baby sit me but Alice showed no signs of movement. She wasn't leaving.

"The many faces of Bella**."** She shot an excited glance up at him.

Shouting echoed trough the hall before Jacob could shut the door. It was female. Rosalie.

"I thought one Bella was enough." He smiled at me after shutting the door and taking a seat on my bed.

"One Bella is already too much." The door was open again and a grinning Emmett was standing there. Some more shouting could be heard from the living room. Something along the lines of where is he. Emmett held a finger to his lips as if to shush us before closing the door and twisting the lock.

"If your going to poke fun then get out." Alice snapped excitement turning to anger.

"But this is the only place she wont look for me." He whined. I ignored it laying back on my bed a few inches away from Alice. Jacob had managed to curl up at our feet and before I knew it Emmett was adding to the pile of bodies. He smiled wiggling in between me and Alice. "I'll be nice. Promise."

"Fine. What ever." I looked up at the ceiling. I decided right then and there that the only people I wouldn't allow into my room where Edward and Rosalie.

"What did you do to her anyways?" Alice questioned him.

"Told her I wanted to be friends with our little Bella."

"Really now?" Alice laughed.

"I told you I was on your side." He made an attempt to shrug his shoulders. "Rose just doesn't understand the whole betrayal of Edward thing."

"So that's three for team Bella!" Alice exclaimed with a laugh. When had we formed teams? "Team Edwards numbers are dwindling."

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(A/N) Thanks again for the review CahBigaiski, maybe you'll find out who Tyna is soon. Haha.


	16. Story Time!

(A/N) Hey everyone. Another Chapter out! Hope you enjoy. I know it's a little short.

Read and Review!

~Love Maacha!

* * *

*Edward POV*

"Where is he!" Rosalie yelled at me. Jasper and I had been content sitting on the couch watching baseball highlights till Emmett had the bright Idea to get on Rose's bad side. Something even I tried to avoid. I shrugged my shoulders. I had over heard the argument, even though I knew I should have tried to avoid listening in. I replayed it now in my mind.

* * *

_"Rose I think I might be starting to like Bella. As a sister." The words had come out of no where. They had been washing the dishes in silence. I could tell Jasper had turned the TV down. He had heard too, and he wasn't about to give up listening in on an argument between Rosalie and Emmett. They where just to fun. "She's cool and all."_

_"Yeah right. Shut up Emmett." She thought he was joking._

_"I'm not kidding Rose. You know I'm not the mean type. Well at least not really mean. Joking mean yeah but not mean, mean." he was trying to convince her to be nice too._

_"Don't you understand Emmett she's the enemy." She paused taking a deep breath. By this time Jasper had muted the show. "She hurt Edward."_

_"She hurt him bad." Emmett agreed. "But she's not the same now. She doesn't know what she did. Or at least she acts like she doesn't know."_

_"That's her problem for being stupid." Rosalie snapped._

_"Maybe we should just give her a chance." Emmett wasn't backing down. He really could be a nice guy when he wanted to._

_"Or maybe we shouldn't."_

_"Rose I'm serious here."_

_"Oh when are you ever serious."_

_"Right now."_

_"Come on Emmett!" Rosalie yelled. **"**Don't betray Edward now!"_

_"Rose! Your taking this way outta control!" Emmett was yelling now too._

_"She hurt Edward and now your going to hurt him as well!"_

_"Yeah well even if she did hurt Edward where hurting her now!" Those yells cut the deepest. She had hurt me. A loooong time ago. And now I was hurting her. I winced. I didn't want to hurt her. It just kinda happened._

_"Shut up! Just shut up!" Something smashed. It sounded like glass. Emmett came storming trough at top speeds and Rose followed almost as quickly, but he managed to avoid her somehow and now she was on our case._

* * *

"Calm down Rose." Jasper whispered the volume back up on the TV. She hadn't even known we where listening.

"Edward." She turned on me. Her eyes held a sad look. A worried look.

"Do you even remember what happened Rose?" I asked.

"Remember what?" She looked stunned.

"Remember Tyna." I said solemnly.

"Not really." She looked at the floor a little ashamed.

"Its ok. Alice and Jasper, they where closer to me then. I hadn't gotten used to You and Emmett just yet."

"But Tyna?" She asked standing in front of us.

"She was….Different." I smiled choosing my words wisely.

"Story time?" Jasper asked flicking off the TV and sitting up so Rosalie could take a seat on the couch. I nodded.

"You remember right Jaz." I asked with a smile in his direction.

"Yeah." His golden eyes lit up. I could tell they probably mirrored mine. This was a story I hoped Bella would never find out about, if she really didn't remember. The story that ruined her life. The story that made Bella Swan get lost in a sea of foster homes. Made her commit multiple suicide attempts. Made her a totally different Bella. If she only knew how I had changed her life. If she only knew who Tyna was. She would probably hold as much hatred against me as I tried to put onto her. As long as I stood, I would never tell her. She couldn't find out.

* * *

*Bella POV*

"I want to hear about the home that made you want to hurt yourself." Emmett roared with excitement.

"I want to know about the home you liked the best." Jacob smiled.

"Lets start with the first one!" Alice was the most excited. I could practically feel her bouncing on my bed. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright alright." I smiled brushing my hand trough my red-brown hair. "In my first home I was Bella Christ."

* * *

(A/N) Thanks for all the reviews everyone! Looks like most of you are on Bella's team. Thanks CahBigaiski, blackestsapphire, Arina Marie, mirian masen, and mariecullen13 for all your reviews.


	17. That Girl Named Tyna

(A/N) Hey everyone. You all wanted to hear about Tyna and Edwards story. Here is a little part. Hope you enjoy it.

Read and Review! Tell me what you think.

~Love Maacha.

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*Edwards POV*

I could remember it clearly. More clearly then I would have liked. Her name was Tyna. Tyna Cullen. I was six now, turning seven very soon, and the newest member to the Cullen family. They had gotten one foster child a year, I was too young to understand why I had to be sent away. The Cullen's had been taking care of Tyna from birth. They got Alice when she was one, Jasper at two, Emmett at three, and Rosalie at four. Now they had me. The perfect family was now complete. I liked my family. Esme and Carlisle where loving parents and my new sisters and brothers where nice too. Tyna was more. Even at that young age she was more then I could have ever dreamed. I never wanted to leave her side. It seemed like she was more than a sister. More than my best friend. Thinking back on it, It was love. Or what I thought was love.

"Edward." Her smile was sweet as the long brown hair fluttered in the breeze. Her brown eyes had so much depth as she held her hand out for me. I took it and we walked trough the field behind our old house in the county. "Edward I'm Ten now."

"Only two years older than me." I smiled up at her. She was older that much was true. While all the rest of us where the same age, she was a whole two years older. It was a big difference in my eyes at that age.

"My daddy wants me back." She had taken a seat at the top of the hill. It was our favorite spot. A place we had loved. Together. It over looked the small town of forks. Our home. Her brown eyes had taken a sad look. She wouldn't look at me. My golden eyes searched her face. I couldn't quite comprehend what she was trying to tell me.

"What-"

"I have to go back." She had let go of my hand. She never did that. I was stunned. Speechless. I was only six, but I still felt as if the girl I loved was telling me she didn't love me anymore. It was amazing what feelings I had at such a young age.

"You can't." I whispered. I couldn't tell her I was scared to death of what she was telling me.

"Listen Edward." She looked at me this time with tears in her eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too." The words came naturally as she hugged me. It was as if we where sixteen trapped in these younger bodies. We knew our feelings. We knew what was going on. We weren't as naïve as most young kids. We were Cullen's. We were smart. She let me go after a moment longer. We where both crying. She smiled at me. It was a nice gesture even though we both had tears.

"Lets go back Edward." She stood up and began the walk back to the house leaving me behind. She had never left me behind before. We always walked side by side. I fell to the ground. My chest was hurting. It felt as if something was being torn out of me. I couldn't name the feeling. I just knew it hurt. The others where still back at the house, and Tyna was far out of view now.

"Hey." I called out. A figure was approaching me. I could swear it was Tyna. It was smaller though. The female that approached me was Alice. She looked worried. She whispered something, to quite for me to hear, or at least that's what I thought. "Alice?"

"Edward." I read her lips. They where moving but I couldn't hear anything. Was I in shock. I couldn't bear the pain anymore. It hurt too much. To watch her walk away and leave me behind. She hadn't gone yet though. I still had time. The thought dawned on me that it wasn't over just yet. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah." I had heard her words that time. I stood up straight the pain easing away slowly. I wouldn't give up just yet. I still had a day or two. When was she leaving? I looked up at Alice sadness in my eyes. "For now."

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(A/N) Hey everyone. Hope you enjoyed. Thanks to CahBigaiski, mariecullen13, and Narn101, for the awesome reviews. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.! Hope to see your thoughts.

~Love Maacha.


	18. That Girl Named Tyna PT 2

*Edwards POV*

"Tyna if you have any problems don't be afraid to call us." Carlisle gave his best smile even as the others gathered around him where on the verge of tears.

"I love you." Esme whispered hugging her daughter outside of the child services office. The tears now flowed freely from her eyes. Three days. It had been her last three days and I had done nothing to keep her with me. I was angry at myself. Damn it. I could have done so much better. Jasper was already breaking down in tears. He was easily taken in around other people's emotions and the families sadness was strong. All the kids went up to Tyna, hugged her, and whispered goodbyes. It was my turn. I didn't move. I didn't make a sound. I couldn't. The only girl I had ever loved was leaving me and I couldn't even say the words I wanted to say. I was so pathetic.

**"**Edward?" Tyna whispered. She was worried I wasn't going to say goodbye. I gave a sad smile and walked up to her. I hugged her and turned my back. It was too simple. I could feel her sadden. It was as if a wave washed over me.

"Tyna?" A mans voice was at the door. Everyone looked up to see a tall man. He was bald and as he smiled a silver tooth gleamed. He definitely wasn't father of the year. He looked like he had just gotten out of jail. He led her outside where none of us could see her anymore. I couldn't resist. I bolted for the door.

"Edward!" I could hear Alice yell behind me. I must have startled everyone. I flung myself outside and ran towards the two retreating figures.

"Come on Tyna." I heard the man whisper as I grabbed her wrist,

"Just a second?" She asked looking up at him.

"Just one." He agreed before taking a few steps forward to give us some space. He must have known how hard it was on the two of us kids. Being separated and all after growing up together.

"Tyna I love you." I cried clinging to her.

"I love you too." She laughed. Her voice cracked and gave her away. She was just as sad as I was. I looked up at her to see tears pooling in her eyes. They where already streaming out of mine. I tried to blink them away so I could see better. Everything was a little blurred. She lifted her hand and wiped the tears away. I smiled the water ceasing. "It'll be OK."

**"**You'll come back right?" I asked. I didn't want this to be the end. It hurt too much to think that this could be the end of us.

"I can't stay away." She smiled. She was so nice. So loving. I was so much in love.

"Good." I tried to laugh but it hurt.

"Now go back and be a good boy." She patted my head.

"Come back soon." I was on the verge of tears again. I was being such a cry baby. It hurt too much though. I couldn't help it. Suddenly a warmth spread over my lips. Tyna was so close to my face her eyes squeezed closed. She was yanked away quickly. She had kissed me.

"Get away from that boy." Her father was yanking her by the arm. Dragging her away. A warmth was spreading over my cheeks. I hadn't had time to think.

"Tyna!" I yelled. I knew I couldn't fallow as he pushed her into a car and climbed into the drives side and started to drive away. I still tried to run down the car. She was sitting in the back her face pressed against the glass. Sadness covered her face but she waved and forced a smile for my benefit.

"Come back!" I yelled falling; out of breath. I was huffing as I sat on the ground. Arms wrapped around me and I kicked and flailed to break loose. My family was gathering around me. They where yelling stuff, I could see it on there faces, but I couldn't hear any of it. I tried to call out again but no sound.

"-ward" I heard a glimpse of Esme's voice. Her lips where still moving but I couldn't hear anything. I could only hear parts of things they where saying. _'stop.' 'ok.' 'fa'_ simple words and syllables. I finally blacked out.

I came to in my room back at home. Alice was sitting on my bed.

"What happened Edward?" She asked.

"She's gone." I whimpered.

"No. What happened when she left?" She asked again. "We where all yelling to you but you looked as if you couldn't hear us."

"I couldn't."

"I thought so." She looked at the floor. "You went deaf?"

"A little."

"Nothing."

"Some words."

"Like in the field?"

"Yeah." I looked up at her.

"I have to tell Carlisle." She stood to leave.

"Wait!" I called louder than I had meant. "She's really gone?"

"She'll visit."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked worried. She turned to leave, her words echoed back to me.

"She loves you."

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(A/N) Hey everyone. Thanks for the reviews mariecullen13, markswife19, FrankieDobo, mirian masen, and CahBigaiski. Please Review.


	19. Bella Christ

(A/N) Thank you everyone who reviewed. You're all awesome. And thank you for reading it. Heres the first chapter on Bella. Hope you enjoy it!

Read and Review. :)

~Love Maacha.

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*Bella POV*

My first home was the Christ family. I was seven. I was hurt. I was Bella Christ. I was sitting in the waiting room at the main house of child services. Winter had long set in and it was snowing out side. I was bundled up in my sweeter and gloves, a hood pulled over my head. My brown eyes stared down at the ground. A couple had come in, but they weren't my new family. They where too young. I was told the Christ's where older. They where young and sad. Like me. When the doors opened and they walked in the cold winter chill came into the room, along with a few snow flakes. They stopped to look at me in awe, there sadness disappearing for a moment. The women had long brown hair, the man short sandy colored. They had bright golden eyes. I hadn't thought about it till now, but they looked like a younger Esme and Carlisle. I couldn't help but stare at them. The man gave the women a slight push and the two hurried into the office. I sat and returned my stare to the ground. I could roughly hear the man inside say 'She's already taken.'

They left moments later with a box filled with toys and clothes. A child they had adopted before? I wasn't paying much attention at that point. I was spacing out. The door opened again and a new rush of cold entered the room. An older man stood there He looked like an exact replica of Santa Clause. White beard and mustache, short, fat, and he wore a red coat and a red knit hat. His wife, reminded me nothing of Mrs. Clause. She had dark wavy brown hair and brown eyes, skinny and tall. Both where old, like I was expecting.

"She's so beautiful!" The women cooed at me walking closer. She knelt down and wrapped me up in a hug. After releasing me I could see her husband had come up behind her.

"She certainly is." He smiled patting my head.

"Come on little one." His wife smiled as I stood up. They led me out into the snow, I was half expecting a sled pulled by reindeer, towards a white mini van. I jumped into the back and we where off.

"You can call me Mrs. Dee." The women smiled as she helped me out of the car and towards the old row home.

"I'm Buzz." The old man said unlocking the door. He lead us into the house, where we where met by the screams of three other kids.

"These are our grand kids." Mrs. Dee smiled as each one came up and introduced themselves. I couldn't remember their names. I never paid much attention back then.

"Are there parents gone too?" I asked dejectedly. The two laughed.

"No sweetie. They are still very much alive." Mrs. Dee smiled. It was a useless thing on me. I was already tearing up. She caught on quickly. "You'll have your own room."

"Yeah, its over here." One of the kids called grabbing my hand and leading me up some stairs and down a hall way. It was a young girl. Older then me, I could tell that much. "Right here."

I mumbled my thanks before exploding into tears.

"Grandma. Grandma!" The girl cried worriedly, as if she was afraid she had broke me. I could hear the rush of foot steps. They moved fast for old people. "She's crying."

"Its OK Honey." I felt arms wrap around me but I continued to cry. I couldn't stop. I felt so stupid and alone. There where people here yes, but they weren't my mom, or my dad. They weren't meant for me.

"I didn't do it Grandma!" The little girl cried. I kept crying. It was all too over whelming. Being without my mother and my father; it left me so sad. I had no idea what had happened now, but back then it was the end of my world. I couldn't stand life.

"Its OK. Go on down stairs." The women said shooing away the little girl. I could feel her pick me up and then I was being set on my bed. I still had tears running down my face. "Bella?"

"No!" I shrieked throwing my face into the pillows.

"Fine." I could hear the hurt in her voice. "I'll be down stairs."

I never went down. I cried myself to sleep. I was hurt so badly by what had happened. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be alone. These people didn't understand. They could never understand my situation. I sat dejectedly at the table when I ate breakfast the next day and spent the rest of the time in my room, alone. That's how I spent the three days at the home. When ever someone tried to talk to me I wound up breaking down and crying all over again. They returned me to the social services office on the forth day. Something about not being able to control me. I didn't care. They would have made a nice family. A nice permanent home, but I just wasn't ready. I just wanted to be left alone. I was hurt.

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(A/N) Special thanks to those who reviewed on Chapter 18! This includes- mirian masen, mariecullen13, CahBigaiski, FrankieDobo, PigeonBOB,  
Narn101, markswife19.

~Love Maacha.


	20. Bella Geneva

(A/N) Hey everyone. Another chapter out. Thanks for reading my story!

Read and Review.

~Love Maacha.

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*Bella POV*

It wasn't a week after that I was called to the main entrance of the main social services building. I sighed my brown eyes where red and puffy from crying. My long brown hair hung in my face covering my eyes though, so no one could see.

"Isabella?" The name rung in my ears. "Isabella Christ?"

My head shot up at the last name. They had it on file now, I was officially Isabelle Christ. I spoke softly my reply, "Yes."

"Look at you!" The arms eloped me in a hug. I couldn't breath. The women seemed nice enough. I looked up as she released me to take in her appearance. She had short blond hair cut in a bob and bright blue eyes that sparkled as she looked me over. Her husband came in shortly after.

"Come on." His words where gruff. Black buzz cut with a black mustache and goatee. He was muscular and tall.

"Come on my dearest little Isabella." She smiled taking my hand. "Welcome to our family Isabella Geneva."

I nodded my head choking back tears. Just like that in a matter of seconds, I had gone from Isabella Christ to Isabella Geneva.

It was a long car ride to nowhere. I choked back tears the whole way. Finally the car pulled to a stop at a small farm-house. The only other house was the one next door to us. It seemed so isolated. I hoped out of the car. Tears stinging at my eyes.

"What's the matter with her?" My new father snapped.

"Who?" My newest mother looked down at me and I burst into tears.

"Shut up!" Mr. Geneva roared. Tear continued to fall.

"Come on little one." Mrs. Geneva pushed me towards the door to the house.

"Don't you go anywhere." Mr. Geneva grabbed my new mothers arm. He swung her around to face him and pushed her away from me. He made a quick grab for my arm and I cried even more. "Shut up!"

He was shaking me. Hard. My new mother just stood there watching. I tried to stifle my cries. After a second the anger in his eyes faded and he released me. I hurried into the house followed by Mrs. Geneva, who showed me my room. I didn't cry that night.

It didn't take long before I was being beat on a daily basis. My new father would come home drunk and no matter where I hid he always found me. I cried the first few times he hit me but on the second week of living with them I had stopped all the tears and sobs. The pain didn't bother me anymore. I had lasted two years here. I was ten. I was stronger.

"Isabella!" My father roared. It was after a long night out. I fled from the kitchen to my room, hoping to avoid him. I made it and shut the door as quietly as possible. "Come out, Come out, little Isabella."

I huddled under my bed hoping he would stay out. I winced as my door flew opened banging against the wall with a harsh crack adn then fotsteps retreating.

"Isabella." Mrs. Geneva's voice was hushed. It was an urgent whisper. "Isabella."

I didn't move. It might be a trap. He might still be out there. Then again she might wanna help.

"Isabella!" Mr. Geneva's snickered. "You can't hide forever."

"Stop." It was Mrs. Geneva who had spoken up. "Don't do it."

"I'll do what I like." I could hear them arguing. Then his foot steps retreated again. I peeked out from under my bed. Only a little. Crack. Smoke and a flash of light clouded my vision. A spray of red covered the floor and I screamed. It was silent in my ears but I knew better. It was louder than I had meant.

Mrs. Geneva lay on the ground in a puddle of red goo, and I knew it was my fault. Another crack. I held my eyes shut waiting for the pain. Waiting to die. Nothing ever came. I poked my head out again to see both of my parents dead on the floor. I managed to crawl out and get over the sight of the blood. I was dizzy and I felt as if I would throw up. I fell to my knees and did just that. I heaved up what little I had in my stomach then continued with dry heaves. My stomach trying to expel what wasn't there. The smell of blood was so over powering I couldn't stand it. I blacked out. Someone must have found me, because I woke up in the hospital. I would be going to child services again in a week. That was the day I began cutting myself. I learned then that this world didn't care about me. No one cared about me. Not my dad or my mother. Not these child services people, or my adoptive parents. It was me against the world. I had to be stronger. I had to be an all new Bella.

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(A/N) Big thanks to my reviewers, FrankieDobo, CahBigaiski, bookworm2341, and mariecullen13.


	21. PIZZA!

(A/N) WOOT WOOT! Another chapter out! Well I'm getting really into this story. All my other stories have been suffering! Poor them. I haven't updated them in months. :( I'm a horrible author. My poor little neglected stories. I can't belive we already have Twenty chapters. Its still got a long way to go till its over but please stick with me.

So Read and Review. Can't wait to see what you all think.

~Love Like always, Maacha!

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*Bella's POV*

I yawned as I finished my last story. My stomach gave a loud rumble and I looked around to see if anyone else had heard it. This was the first time I had ever talked to anyone about my past. About my homes. About my parents. About cutting myself. Thinking about the last story I told my stomach was screaming it was hungry but my mind showed signs of throwing anything that I ate right back up. I looked around at the Cullen's that had gathered around me. Alice had sat up sometime during my story, and looked like she was about to go into shock, Jacob looked angry, maybe he was mad at those people for what they did to me, and Emmett looked like a child staring at flashing lights, enthralled was the word I had learned for that kind of feeling. All of them had their eyes locked on me. My stomach gave another growl and I noticed Jacob getting up.

"Lets get something to eat before the next one." He gave me a half-smile, like he pitied me. I didn't want his pity. Maybe that's why I never talked about this kind of stuff.

"Yeah you haven't eaten all day." Alice chimed in standing from the bed. Jacob held out a hand to help me up, but I refused, standing up on my own. My legs wobbled and I found myself grabbing his hand anyways. The thoughts of the blood and, well the brains, still imprinted on my mind. I couldn't shake that feeling.

"Come on Bella." I felt two big hands scoop me up from under my arms and I was tossed over the persons shoulder. Emmett's shoulder. He raced from my room and down the hall. "FOOD!"

"What the hells going on!" I heard Edward yell as our group ran past and into the kitchen. I felt myself being put down and Alice and Jacob where standing guard duty, making sure none of the others tried to follow to our privet party. Edward came anyways. "What's going on?"

"Edward this is an A B conversation." Alice chimed pointing to herself and me. "So C your way out of it before I get D and E to F you up."

On the D and E part she pointed at Emmett and Jacob. Edward stood shocked for a moment that his sister would say something like that to him. After a moment he stormed off back to the living room.

"Wow Alice." Emmett beamed at her giving her a pat on the back as she walked by. "Way to go!"

"Here." Alice smiled at me, ignoring Emmett's childish ways. She grabbed the phone and began dialing a number. "What would you like?"

"Huh?" I asked stunned for a second.

"Pizza Bella." She smiled at me waving the phone. "Yes, I would like a delivery to 342 Allen Rd. Key Landing Apartments, Pent house in building two. Yeah it'll ring automatically when the elevator hit's the top. I want- Bella?"

"Um, I don't know." I answered honestly.

"Three meat! Three meat!" Emmett began bouncing up and down.

"Three meat." I agreed with a smile to her.

"Three large three meat Pizza's." She smiled as she gave the order. Emmett stopped bouncing and pumped his fist in the air with an exaggerated, yes! She hung up and lifted herself, so she could sit on the countertop. "I'll be here in less than thirty."

"Awesome." Emmett smiled taking a seat at one of the bar stools. I took a seat beside him and Jacob sat beside me.

"So how many other homes did you have?" Alice asked curiously.

"Umm. Well I had one after that, that lasted a year and a half, then another one that only lasted two months. I was twelve by the time I had another home. Then there was a temporary stay at an orphanage for like two years before they thought I was unsafe around those kids. Then like four more after that and then this one." I counted the years in my head. Most of that time had been spent isolated or in the hospital.

"How many suicide attempts?" Emmett had that look on his face again. Like he was staring at flashing lights.

"Forty two this year, Thirty six last year, twenty-nine the year before that, sixteen before that, and five before that. Before then it was just small cuts, not real attempts." I counted the numbers in my head. I had been growing increasingly dangerous to myself.

"Real attempts?" Alice asked slightly confused. I guess she thought the cutting where real attempts.

"The last stay I sliced my neck." I pointed to the slight scar. "Before that It was running out into traffic, in front of speeding cars, trying to hang myself, running onto the tracks in the subway, sitting on railroad tracks, jumping off the roof, I jumped trough a few windows, one time I even took a piece of steel and tried to slice open my ankle."

"What?" Jacob stared wide-eyed at me.

"They told you I was a problem child right." I looked up at each on of them before pulling my leg up and un covering my ankle to reveal a scar that spread over the whole back. "See."

"You should be dead!" Alice exclaimed.

"They say I have a guardian angel." I shrugged. "I hate her. People pull me off the tracks before the trains come, the rope breaks or someone comes out before I can completely strangle myself. Cars hit their breaks or swerve to avoid me, or when they hit me, its not good enough to kill me. I've broken a few ribs, got a collapsed lung, broken legs from jumping trough windows and off the roofs. The steel didn't even slice far enough to kill me."

"Wow." Emmett was staring at still. I folded my arms.

"I'm sorry." I looked at each one of them. "I'm just tired of living like I can actually make a difference. The world doesn't care about me. It doesn't care about anyone. No one is needed here. No one is loved enough. I'm just some stupid little girl. No one would care if I go away forever."

"I would." Edward whispered loud enough for me to hear from the doorway. I looked up at him and blinked the tears away that had started to sting at my eyes. I should have known better than to start crying. I wiped my eyes and opened my mouth, about to say something when the Elevator dinged.

"Who ordered Pizza." Jasper yelled walking into the room. He must have paid the man and sent him on his way. He grinned holding the pizza's out as an offering, Rosalie coming up behind him.

"I did!" Alice chimed a smile forming on her face. Emmett already had one pizza scooped into his hands and was opening it. He set it on the counter as Jasper did with his and they began serving the Pizza. Alice handed me my plate, and all thoughts of the pervious conversation disappeared. I must have imagined Edward had said that, because no one else had even looked like they heard it. I shook my head and began the consumption of the pizza.

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(A/N) Thanks to all my Reviewers! Really you guys are what keeps me writing! So special thanks to mariecullen13, CahBigaiski, mirian masen, Horselover9139, and FrankieDobo.


	22. REVENGE!

(A/N) hey Guys another chapter out already! I was surprised I got it out already. Today was the first day of school so the chapters will maybe take longer to update. I sure hope not! Please tell other people about my story! Get the word out! Haha.

Read and Review!

~Love Maacha.

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*Bella's POV*

"Lets get you to bed." Jacob smiled down at me. I had taken a seat on the floor next to the couch after we had all finished off the pizza's. It seemed like everything had gone pretty well after that. Everyone laughed and talked and watched TV. I was given no dirty looks, Ignored, but no dirty looks, and no rude comments. All in all it was pretty good. I smiled up at Jacob before covering my mouth and letting out a big yawn. It had gotten late so fast.

"You go ahead." I shooed him with my hand to make him go before me. He left with a glance back at me as he reached the hall way before walking off towards his shared room with Emmett. I stretched and let out another yawn. Everyone had already left the room. I must have dozed off for a little while, my eyes where heavy with sleep. I stood up reluctantly and dragged my feet down the hall. I could hear the shower blasting in the boy's bathroom, but all was quite in the girls. My eye's opened wide and I took the moment all for me. In my last burst of energy I ran into my room, skidded to a stop in my socked feet, laughing, yanked out a pair of light blue silk pajama shorts and a silk top, that must have been put there by Alice, before darting back out into the hallway, skidding to a stop in front of the girls bathroom, and finally thrusting the door open and darting inside. I shut the door behind me with a huff, staring at the ground, and locked it.

"Hello?" A voice called out. I looked up from the ground to see a figure in the shower. I could hear the water now in my ears. I looked around the room. Clothes. Boy's clothes. There was no way! In my hurry I had rushed into the boys bathroom instead of the girls. I cursed myself inside my head. The voice echoed again, "Who's there."

I recognized this voice. Edward. Horror struck my face. This was worse. What would he think if he saw me standing outside of the shower? He would just call me even more names! I glanced around the room quickly. "Stop being paranoid Edward. No one's there."

Was he giving himself a pep talk? I covered my mouth to stifle the silent laughter. I glanced around the room again. It would be the perfect time for pay back. Finally my eyes landed on one piece of clothing he would most definitely need. I grabbed it in my hands just as the water was turning off. I noticed him shake his hair to rid himself of the water, and that's all I stuck around for. I quickly opened the door and darted back out into the hall way, silently closing the door behind me. I laughed at the prize I held on in my hand and quickly dashed to my room to slip it on. It was time for revenge.

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*Edwards POV*

"Damn it!" I muttered under my breath as I searched my clothes. I knew I had brought them in. There was no way I could get dressed with out them. I couldn't have forgotten them, I just couldn't have. I growled under my breath. Emmett. I saw him in my mind laughing hysterically with his prize. He was definitely the one who had done this. I smiled to myself. "No problem."

I wrapped the towel around my naked waist and folded it so it would hold up. I had no problems with my body. If I happened to run into one of the girls, there would be nothing embarrassing about them seeing my bare top half. I blushed. I would be fine as long as Bella didn't see me. I shook the thought off and opened the door entering the hall, my other clothes in hand. They had all gone to bed. There was no way any of them would see me. I walked at a normal pace to the room me and Jasper shared and jingled the door handle. It didn't open. I pushed a little harder. Nothing. I muttered under my breath again. "Damn it."

Jasper must have locked it, thinking I would be fine on my own. That or he was in on it with Emmett. Oh yeah, lets just get all paranoid again. I sighed angrily slamming my fist against the door a few times in an angry knock. No answer. I tried a calmer knock this time. Nothing. Maybe he wasn't in there. I sighed turning to walk down the hall, again at a normal pace so my towel would stay up. I could hear laughing out there. Had all my sibling not gone to bed after all? The laughing grew louder as I emerged into the Living room. Suddenly a snap of bright light flashed and I was dazed. When I gained my sight back the roaring laughter echoed even louder. I blinked once, twice, three times, before I finally understood what I was seeing. Emmett was rolling on the floor with laughter, Jacob was beside him laughing harder, if that was possible. Jasper and Rosalie while holding their hands over their mouths, but I could tell they where laughing as well. I swung my gaze over the scene. Rage taking over. I knew what they where laughing about. Alice was jumping around the living room snapping pictures of Bella who was dancing in circles and posing as if she was in a magazine shot. Her top half covered by a girls beater, her beater, and the bottom half was covered by my missing article of clothing. MY BOXERS!

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" I roared. Everyone looked up at me and Alice turned her camera to snap a picture. I dropped the clothes that I had been holding in my hand and felt something slip off my waist. I was horror-stricken. Alice snapped her camera immortalizing the moment. A hot blush covered my face. They all erupted into laughter.

"I really like the black boxers, but this view is even better." Alice laughed.

"Oh yeah." Bella agreed. The boys started rolling on the floor again, Jasper joining in holding his sides and almost falling off the couch. Rosalie had dubbed over holding her stomach with one hand and shaking her head as if in disappointment, laughter spilling out.

Bella dropped to her knees as soon as she stopped staring and began laughing. Alice clicked a few more pictures before I could bend down and snatch up my towel. I stormed off enraged the laughter still echoing behind me.

"The doors locked!" Jasper called through heavy laughs. I didn't care. I stormed to the door and swung my leg up kicking the lock as hard as I could and breaking the door off its hinges. It cracked in two and I entered dressing quickly and plopping onto the bed.

"Mom's gonna be pissed!" Emmett yelled as silence broke out in the room. Then as if on cue they all started laughing again.

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(A/N)

Special thanks to my reviewers, Narn101 (I get obsessed over some stories too, I makes me kinda happy haha), crazyanniecroc, mariecullen13, BellaWannabe86, Horselover9139, and CahBigaiski.


	23. Gianna

(A/N) Sorry everyone for the delay in writing. It was a looong weekend. Got the computer fixed woot woot! Anyways, here it is. Hope you enjoy

Read and Review!

~Love Maacha.

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*Bella's POV*

I awoke the next morning to yelling, Not something I wanted to hear so early. I sat up groggy. It had been a long day yesterday. I took care not to move my head too much as I got up. I had a massive headache already. I sighed poking my head out of the door. I shivered before I fully tuned into what was being said. I jumped at the silk feeling that encased my body, I had forgotten I had changed into the silk pajama's after jumping in the shower, after the whole revenge thing yesterday. It had been too perfect.

"We try to teach you kids good, You can't go kicking down doors Edward!" Esme said shaking her head. Her voice was full of worry. "Do you know what they'll do if they see it like this?"

"And you Jasper. You where in charge. How the hell did this happen?" Carlisle yelled glaring down the two boys. They just stood there and took it. They didn't even tell them that it had been my fault. "You are in so much trouble boys."

"No wait!" It took me a moment to realize who had spoken up. It had been me. I had rushed to get out of bed and had hurried myself out into the hall way. It had taken me a mintue to walk down to where the boy's where being yelled at, but I calmly did so. **"**It was my fault."

"Oh sweetie no." Esme came over and hugged me. "Edward has emotional Issues. That's why Jasper is supposed to be helping him."

"Mom. I'm not a shrink." Jasper chimed in.

"No Esme. It was my fault." I tried again as she released me. "I accidentally looked the door. It was the only way to get back inside."

"Really." Carlisle looked from me to the boys and back again.

"Really." I nodded my head. "If they told you different it was probably either to protect me, or to get me in more trouble then I should have been in."

"No they haven't told us anything." Esme looked worried as she thought it over.

"Fine. We'll let you off this time." Carlisle turned to leave. "But if it happens again you two will be in serious trouble."

"Whoa." Jasper sighed as the two adults walked away. He gave me a wink. "At least that's over. Thanks for covering."

"It's whatever." I shrugged as I turned to walk back to my room.

"Next time don't bother." I heard Edwards words and stopped. It pierced me like a knife. I balled my fists in anger before stomping back to my room and shutting the door.

"That was nice of you." I looked up at my bed, where the musical voice had rang from. There sat Alice, looking heavenly as possible.

"Yeah well…" I let my sentence trail off. I shrugged my shoulders again and sat next to her.

"School starts tomorrow." I looked up in shock. She laughed. It seemed like she had known that was coming. "Don't worry. Today where gonna go shopping. Right after the Review board comes in."

"Review board?" I asked confused. Again she looked like she had known that one was coming too.

"People from the children's safety place." She smiled bouncing off the bed. "They like to check on all the kids that come to live here. Get dressed and meet us out in the kitchen for Breakfast. They should be here any second."

"Fine." I got up just as the elevator dinged. They where here, And they where coming to check on me.

"Bella?" Esme's voice called to me. I panicked. My head was whirling. I didn't want to get taken away. I didn't want to leave. I grabbed a light blue powdery dress from the closet and changed quickly dashing out of my room. Esme smiled at me. "Here she is."

"Hello Bella." A face looked up at me from behind black rimmed glasses. A cascade of brown hair fell around her. It was light and wavy, similar to Esme's. Maybe longer. She sighed yanking the brown curls into a bun and turning her brown eyes over me. "My name is Gianna. Aro and the others couldn't make it."

"Hello." I replied politely. I could feel Esme stir behind me. She was backing away.

"Goodbye Gianna." Esme said in a hushed voice exiting the room.

"Please comehave a seat." Gianna motioned, Ignoring Esme's goodbye. She walked over to the couch with a clipboard and a pen. She smiled patting the chair and I slid into it reluctantly. It was only then that I noticed that they had left me. They had all left me to face my fate all on my own. No one was around me to help. No one. I shook my head to rid it of my negative thoughts.

"So Lets get started with the questions." Gianna gave a coy smile. She yanked out a voice recorder and pressed the record button. "First state your full name."

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(A/N) Thank you guys for all the reviews! Thanks to, crazyanniecroc, CahBigaiski, RangerRainbow, animal8, BellaWannabe86, bookworm2341, and mariecullen13.


	24. Termination

(A/N) Sorry for the delay yet again. My school work has been getting in the way of writing. I'm truly sorry It's taking so long! Please forgive me! I do have another chapter ready now.

Please Read and Review, and if you like my story, tell your friends!

~Love Maacha.

* * *

"Name." Gianna repeated. I was frozen. Shocked. My eyes staring blankly at her. She was getting impatient. I took another second before answering her.

"Isabella Cullen." I sighed glancing up at her.

"Good. Age?"

"Seventeen."

"Excellent. So how are the Cullen's as a family?"

"They are great. They take good care of me. I love it here."

"I understand there is a problem."

"Problem?" I questioned. I had gotten so excited that I was answering the questions right before she had pulled out that wild card.

"We have no issues with you here, quite the contrary. We have been thinking about terminating this so called problem."

"What problem?" I asked cautiously.

"Edward Cullen."

"E-Edward?" I stuttered. My head was spinning. He wasn't the problem. I mean he caused problems but I didn't mind him as much as I used to. I was getting used to the abuse.

"Termination is required in this type of family. We can't have any mistakes. No problems." Gianna gazed up at me. "Aro was very specific that if Edward was giving you any problems he would be terminated this time."

"H-He's fine." I stuttered again. It was hard to form words. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had never been told I would be terminated. What the hell was she going on about? She wasn't my normal check-up girl. "I think we actually get along."

"Really now?" She looked at me skeptically a sly smile streching across her face. **"**I was told no one could replace Tyna."

"Tyna?" I asked my eyes going wide.

"The last girl who had been put in this house on a permenent basis. The last girl who had been terminated. Maybe they can be together soon." She laughed. I clenched my hands into fists. Who was she to say that Edward should be terminated. I almost lunged at her but two hands wrapped around my arms and I looked up into the sullen face of Edward Cullen.

"Please leave."Carlisle was standing next to him. "I wish I could have been here when you arrived but work delayed me."

That work would have been replacing the door Edward had broken. Gianna merely stared up at Carlisle and I tried hard not to look up at Edward who held tight to me. His nails where digging into my skin and I tried hard not to wince at the pain.

"I'll ask you once more."Carlisle looked threatening. "Please leave my home. You have what you came here for."

"Fine Carlisle." Gianna huffed and left the house. She looked angry. The elevator dinged and she was gone, but Edward still remained gripping my arms.

"It's OK Edward."Carlisle smiled at him and Edward released me.

"Sorry." He looked down at the ground. "I didn't mean it."

"Edward." Esmé rushed out of the kitchen and into the living room area, wrapping her arms around Edward, the others comming out of hiding. I was still breathless on the sofa and everyone was staring at me now.

"If you even think of telling-" Rosalie started.

"She won't." Alice cut her off.

"Stop taking her side." Rose began.

"Stop you two." It was Edward who had spoken. "We need her now. We need to complete the family, once and for all."

"Edward." I whispered. I could feel his pain. He didn't want me here, but he needed me here.

"I'll be fine. I'll just have to get over it." Edward shrugged plopping on the couch next to me, escaping from his family. He wrapped me into a hug. Something I wasn't expecting. I looked at his face the best I could, he seemed withdrawn, like he wasn't in control of what he was doing, or trying not to think about it.

"Edward?" Jasper spoke up.

"Hm." Edward looked up at him, letting me go.

"Lets take a walk. The three of us." Jasper began walking towards the elevator and Edward followed. I looked up at my family to see what to do.

"Go." Alice whispered. I got up from the couch and followed the boys out. I could tell my life was about to change again. I could tell that what I thought was the truth was about to be shattered. I could tell this would be a very long walk.

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(A/N) Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys really make my day! Horselover9139, crazyanniecroc, bookworm2341, CahBigaiski, mirian masen, Arina Marie, RangerRainbow, and animal8, I'm glad for all the reviews. Thank you so much!


	25. First Injection

(A/N) Hey everyone. Sorry for the long wait, yet again. I've been really busy with school. I hope you guys will enjoy this little update.

Please read and review and tell me what you think!

~Love N. J. Maacha!

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We walked in silence. It was slightly unnerving. The city streets were filled with shouting and buzzing cars but we remained silent. I walked in the middle of the two boys. Finally after walking for almost ten minutes Jasper cleared his throat.

"Bella." He glanced down at me. His face pinched like I smelled of garbage and sewer water. "There's something you need to know. Something about our family."

Another silence. I wanted to ask what it was, I needed to know, I wanted to know. But I stayed silent. I remained in my own quite shell listening to my footsteps as I followed them. After walking for another ten minutes Jasper made a sharp left and began to quicken his pace. I had to run to keep up with the boys. Then they rushed down a flight of stairs and they disappeared. I flew trough the open door and skidded into the room where they where already sitting. I shut the door carefully and cautiously. I watched as they eyed me, as I took the only other empty folding chair. There was nothing else in the room but the white cement bricks and faded posters and photos that hung limply on the walls. They sat staring at me with their golden eyes.

"Say something damn it!" I finally snapped.

"It's hard to say Bella." Jasper stared into my eyes. "Were not like you Bella."

"Yeah, I know." I sighed. "Your better than me."

Edwards laugh tickled my ears before Jasper jabbed him in the side and continued. "Not that Bella. Were not regular Foster kids. Were not human."

"Oh right." It was my turn to laugh. "Now your gonna tell me your part of the Russian mafia."

"I wish." Jasper smiled. "More like the Vampire Mafia."

I laughed again. They couldn't be serious. "Vampires, right. You two are crazy."

"And your sane?" Edward taunted me. A smile played on his lips. He looked glad to let me in on this little make-believe story. "Your part of this family now Bella."

"And with that, comes great responsibility." I was joking but there eyes made me shut up. They were glaring at me. I felt like a child getting scolded. Like I had done something wrong.

"Bella this is serious. Your check-up was today, and tomorrow you'll start school. Vampire school." Jasper continued. "Gianna will tell Aro that you're ready, you're better, you're stronger. You're fixed, like the rest of us. But you see we aren't normal. We aren't normal vampires. We are genetically altered humans. We eat human food, go out in daylight, and we only drink animal blood. We are vampires though. We have speed, and strength, and we do drink blood. We are immortal. We have grown to the desired ages but we won't grow anymore."

"Oh." It was all I could manage. A very faint, very hallow sounding, oh.

"There was a girl before you." Jasper sighed.

"Tyna." The whisper came from Edward.

"She was terminated because of her flaw. Her flaw of loving and trusting everyone too much. They had injected her first, right after birth. She was the first experiment. Then they injected Carlisle then Esme. Tyna was told that if she did not stop breaking down then she would be terminated. She believed everything should have life, everything should be loved."

"She cried a lot." Edward grunted.

"She was serious about everything, she was perfect except for that one factor. She had this power, a special power where she was able to find the dead and the dying. We couldn't take her around grave yards, around dead animals. She would tense up and go ridged with fear or anxiety, we were never really sure of which. They got it right with Emse though. They got the over loving part without the episodes but they had to give up the whole finding the dead power. They want to give that power to you."

"Me?"

"You keep wanting to die, they think your perfect." Jasper gave a sad smile. "It's hard to kill a vampire, almost impossible, but they can make us human again, those of us that are injected, they can reverse it."

"They reverse it, and kill us." Edward was staring at the ground.

"They will be coming for you, its only a matter of time." Jasper sighed. "You are going to be the last of the injected species."

"What If I don't want it!" I stood up. "What If I don't want to be immortal, what if I don't want to be a vampire!"

"It's already been decided." Edward looked away and I noticed Jasper give a nod.

"Carlisle wont let Edward get terminated but he wont stand in the way of your transformation. You're a part of our family now."I was suddenly thrown forward. I kicked with all my might. It felt like I was fighting against stone. "Please let me go!"

My screams and pleas and my fighting wasn't helping me at all. I was in a losing fight. Finally something shot into my arm and I passed out, the whole thing was a trap.

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(A/N) Hey everyone thanks for the reviews! I seriously enjoyed reading them! Special thanks to mirian masen, Narn101, .Windclan, bookworm2341, animal8, Eebee Cullen, CahBigaiski, Darl, mariecullen13, and xXxwhispersxXx.


	26. Memories

(A/N): Sorry Its been so long. So much to do.

~Love Maacha.

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_"Bells."_

_The voice was light and soft. A child's voice. Whimsical like laughter. I blinked before my vision focused. I was staring into the eyes of a girl. She had long brown hair and brown eyes, a big smile spread across her face._

_"How do you know me?" I asked running my hands trough my own brown hair. She looked like she could be my sister._

_"Bell's you gotta help him out now." She smiled and my heart beat sped up. My breathing grew rapid and the butterfly's in my stomach stirred into motion. "I can't help him anymore."_

_"Do I know you?" I asked cautiously. Not daring to move my eyes away from her. I could tell I was dreaming but I couldn't wake up. I didn't want to wake up. It was peaceful here, I felt like I needed to be here. Here with this girl._

_"My names Tyna." The smile held strong and as she said her name my heart beat sped up faster than it was already going. That name sent off so many signals. "Bells when you wake up you wont remember but you have to."_

_"What do I have to remember?"_

_"Everything." The word seemed so simple. "Your human life, Your human emotions, Your human friends, most of all the human known as Isabella Swan."_

_"I can't remember that person anymore." It was honest. I had wanted to remember those times I had spent as Bella Swan the times before the homes and before I had to protect myself._

_"Just try." Her smile faded slightly. "Your dad, he was very brave."_

_"Bells." The name came from far away. Ghostly almost like out of nowhere._

_"Remember him?" She gave another encouraging smile. I closed my eyes tight. I could only remember pieces, like a movie with parts of the tape ripped out. Headlights and the hospital. Saltwater tears. My screams. Barking? "Try to remember Bella. Please."_

_"I'm trying." I sighed my eyes opening slowly. "I just can't."_

_"Just try a little harder. Maybe you'll remember." I closed my eyes again and I could feel my body shift._

_"That's it Bella. Remember. Remember me."_

* * *

_It seemed like I was reliving the moment. The memory. Maybe my last one. I grabbed my bag and peered down into the depths. Pulling out a black laptop I managed to start it. The screen was blue and it hummed for a moment before I clicked on the desktop Icon that took me to my documents. There where the words printed in big black bold letters. The horrible truth._

**_'COUNTY POLICE MAN KILLED IN SHOOTING.'_**

_It was all I had to read to start to tear up. I hadn't really gotten past that part yet, the title. That was where I always stopped. I couldn't stop this time. I had to read it trough._

**_'Charlie Swan was a Great Police man, who died trying to protect a seven year old girl from a hostage situation. It was Charlie that took action. He was calm and handed over his life for the return of the girl, but unfortunately we lost them both.'_**

_I had to pause again. I didn't really want to read any more. Tears where already running hopelessly. I grabbed my head phones out of the bag and turned the computer off. The dreadful truth was already in front of me. I just wanted it to go away. The music blared in my ears as I hit the play button._

_"Bella? Do you want some dinner?" It was my mother's boyfriend I barely heard over the sound of the music. I must have fallen asleep because I couldn't think straight for a moment. I was groggy. Sitting up I looked towards my door. It was still shut and he had made no attempt to come in. At least he respected my privacy. Or maybe he was scared of me. I stood up anyways and opened the door. He wasn't there. He had left._

_I didn't say anything when I entered the kitchen, just took a seat at the table in the only empty chair. It had a plate of food already in front of it. All in all it had been a pretty dramatic day. No matter how much I had wanted to stay in my room I had to eat some time._

_Dinner went by slowly, and silently. The only noise was the scrapping of forks on plates and our constant chewing and swallowing._

_After that we sat still for a couple of minutes before I stood up and turned to leave._

_"Wait." The word caught me off guard and I turned around unwillingly. It was my mom who had spoken._

_She didn't say another word. Instead her boyfriend, who I still didn't have a name for, spoke up. "Don't you want your present?"_

_"No." The answer was blunt and easy to say. My mother didn't look hurt like I thought she would. She looked blank._

_"We know you loved him, so we got you something to take your mind off it." I didn't get to say the so simple answer again before The guy was up and making his way around me and into the living room._

_"You'll love it." My mother said again for the hundredth time today._

_"You keep saying that but I don't belive it! I'll never love..." My rampage was cut short by the yelp of a puppy, that was being put in my arms. A small black pomaranian, sat cuddling itself against me. I had the urge to drop it. To yell at them for getting me something I knew I would have to care for. I didn't want anything I could hurt now. I held the dog though, regardless._

_"What will you name him?" My mother asked. She was smiling, something I hadn't seen in a very long time. I kind of missed it. Its warmth._

_"Charlie." It was the first name that came into my mind. My smile weakened but the small animal snuggled against me and I looked up to my mother. "What do you think?"_

_"Its perfect**." **She smiled but It was forced. I could tell. After living with her for my whole life, excluding the last two years, it was easy to read her facial expressions._

_"Are you ready for bed?" My mothers newest boyfriend asked._

_"Just one moment_**_."_**

_I couldn't remember his name. How could I not remember that mans name._

_"OK. I'll be waiting upstairs."_

_"Ok." She gave a real smile to him before he left and she turned back to me. "Take care of him?"_

_"I will." It was another simple thoughtless answer._

_"OK."_

_And she left too. They had all left. Now it was only me and Charlie._

_"Come on Charlie." The puppy was falling asleep in my arms as I made the way up the steps a few minutes after my mother had went up. I laid down._

_Sleep wouldn't come. Well not for me anyway. Charlie was asleep by the time I laid him on my bed._

_I laid next to him and after tossing and turning for an hour, sleep found me too._

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(A/N) Special thanks to my reviewers: bookworm2341, CahBigaiski, Narn101, RangerRainbow, mariecullen13, Horselover9139, Eebee Cullen, and .Windclan. The reviews are great guys. Keep it up! haha.


	27. Slight Scare

(A/N):

The reviews have been awesome.

Read and REVIEW!

~Love Maacha.

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"Bella?" I rubbed my eyes and stretched, the voice seeming so Innocent, so worried. Her smile was still on my mind as I opened my eyes to try and get a glimpse of who had muttered my name. My whole body ached as I sat up. "Careful!"

"Huh?" I was caught off guard as Jacob through his arms around me.

"Are you OK?" He began stroking my hair. "I told them it was too soon."

"I'm fine Jacob." I said my voice shaky. His behavior was scaring me a little.

"How's sleeping be-" Emmett cut himself off as he looked into the room. Which as I looked around now for the first time, I realized I was back at home. Not at the hospital that I was expecting. His grin stretched out as he took a running jump and dived onto my bed. "Good morning sleeping beauty."

"Morning?" I asked glancing around.

"Yeah it's almost two in the morning." Edward had made an appearance at my door, Jasper slightly behind him, standing in the shadows.

_'He needs your help now.' _The girls smile came back into my head her words echoing. The last remainder of my dream coming back to me. Tyna's smile as I finally remembered one tiny little part of Bella Swan. It had been one of my later memories there where more before that and More after, and I knew I would have to try my hardest to remember the already repressed memories. It would be hard, if Tyna's warning had any meaning.

"T-t-two?" I stuttered my mind coming back to the situation at hand.

"Yeah. Now get in the shower." Edward rolled his eyes. "All the girls have gone to bed already, and You have school in the morning."

I nodded my head and with a vicious leap I jumped off the bed and grabbed a clean nightgown and dashed to the doorway where Edward and Jasper stood. I paused a moment to stare up at Edward. His eyes locked with mine, a look of confusion crossing his face.

"It'll all be OK." I smiled at him before bounding out of the door and to the girls shower. I could relax if only for a moment and try to get my thoughts together. Try to pull up another memory. The fog from the water made it a little easier to daydream.

His laugh echoed in my head. His hand on my shoulder. His smile as he looked down at me and whispered he would be back soon. My father. Racing off into the darkness of the night, and then the headlights.

I gasped for breath as the memory hit me. It had been harder, it was fuzzier now then the last memory.

* * *

_"Charlie stop that." The small dog had yanked on my pant leg for a few minutes now. I tugged back hard trying to shake him off. He looked up at me with those big bulging pom eyes his tongue hanging out and I laughed. "If only dad could see you."_

_"Bark!" Charlie began racing in circles trying to get at his tail and I exploded into more laughter._

_"Hurry up Bella we need to go." It was my mother's voice. She had a doctor's appointment today and was dropping me off at the park._

_"I hate you." I whispered under my breath as I scoped Charlie up into my arms and bounded down the steps. I had not meant to fall in love with the dog, I mean I had only had him one night, but he had sparked something inside of me. Something that made me want to keep living._

_**"**Come on." My mother ushered me out the front door and followed me to the car. It was a short quite drive with only Charlies slight yapping at random cars to pass the time. Finally my mother dropped me off and I jumped out of the car and raced for the park. I had made a point to never smile with my mother, I didn't want her to know she had made me cave, made me fall in love with something I had to care for. I smiled down at the puppy, letting him loose onto the ground. He ran off and I chased after him. He would look back every once in a while to see if I was still following. I could keep up easily with his small size. After a moment though he stopped abruptly in front of me._

_"Whats the matter Charlie?" I asked looking down at him. He moved slowly towards the tree a few feet away from where we stood. I sighed walking after Charlie. "Come on-"_

_"Bark, bark, woof bark. bark, bark woof!" The dog went off as we got closer to the tree. Something small and fury was sprawled on the ground and fly's seemed to like this area. I took a step back my eyes wide with horror. My hand flew up to my mouth. A squirrel lay mashed into the ground its body totally distorted. I grabbed up Charlie and dashed back towards the crowded area of the park, my breathing heavy and uneven. I couldn't comprehend what I had just saw._

_"Char-" I choked on my tears, I had never liked blood, or pain, or death. Unconscious feelings about my fathers own death? "Charlie."_

_"Hurmm." The small dog cried licking at my tears. I sat on the ground tears streaming, gasping for breath._

* * *

"Huff, Huff." My breathing was heavy as I sat clinging to the shower walls. I was sitting on the floor and I could hardly breathe.

"Bella!" The door to the bathroom banged open as Jacobs voice echoed in to me.

"Get out of my way mutt," Edward was there too. "Bella whats wrong."

"I-I-I-" I couldn't breath. I couldn't get the words out. Edward ripped open the curtain and I collapsed trying to cover myself with my arms.

"Here." Jacob through a towel over me and the two boys sat staring death glares at each other.

"Are you OK?" Edward asked looking down at me finally as my breathing steadied.

"She tried to remember." I looked up to see Jasper was at the door way.

"What?" Jacob and Edward both looked up startled at their brother.

"Remembering after having the injection like that. It hurts the body. Takes a lot out of you." Jasper paused. "They try to make our human lives impossible to remember."

"Bella did you remember?" Jacob turned eyes wide as they stared at me. "I always wanted to remember."

I nodded my head yes, afraid the words would just choke me out of the little bit of air I had managed to gather. Tyna had been right, with these conditions remembering would be hard.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." Edward lifted me up into his arms. I let out a small squeak.

"Well at least shes not screaming. She even woke up Alice." Jasper turned and left as Edward carried me out, Jacob following behind. They sat me on the bed and turned around to let me dress, not daring to leave the room.

"It's OK we wont look." Jacob assured me. I nodded to myself and changed into my nightgown and then cuddled into the bed. As I moved the covers ever so slowly both boys were laying next to me in bed. Their speed was incredible. Jacob put a finger to my lips so I couldn't argue and as I laid my head on the pillow I fell into a deep sleep, the boys next to me, wrapped in their arms. I had never felt so safe in my life.

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(A/N) Thanks for the reviews guys! Your suport is always welcomed! CahBigaiski, .Windclan, Horselover9139, mariecullen13, bookworm2341, RangerRainbow, and xXNeonPurpleMoonXx most of you guys are always reviewing, You guys should get some cookies or something. haha.


	28. Falling Backwards

(A/N) Sorry for the late update guys. I've been really busy with school. Please forgive me! I'm so sorry. I'm gonna try to make more frequent updates, but I can't promise.

~Your friend and humble author

Maacha.

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_"Bella." It was a whisper in my ear, one I recognized almost instantly. I would not dream peacefully tonight no mater how safe I had felt in my awakened world._

_"Tyna?" My words betrayed how annoyed I was._

_"Please don't be mad. You need to remember. You need to make them human." I slanted my eyes to try to get a better sight in the darkness. My mind was swirling with questions but I was hit by a sudden memory. Not something I was expecting._

* * *

_"Bella sweetie I love you." Her voice was soft even as she held me kicking and screaming._

_"I hate you! I hate you!" I struggled pushing her away from me, grasping at the air, wanting my dog back._

_"Just give it back to her." My mothers sad voice echoed to her boyfriend who held my dog in his arms. My Charlie._

_"I hate you!" I screamed. I heard the yap as I finally broke free and Charlie was jumping into my arms. I turned quickly running up the stairs dashing between both of the adults swinging arms as they tried to get me back. Get Charlie back. My door slammed closed and the lock clicked as I set the dog on the bed. My breath was heavy as I glanced at the dog so sad-looking that my whole body ached. "It's OK Charlie. I wont let them hurt you."_

_"She can't have that dog." The hiss was barely above a whisper. "You promised me the girl, but I wont allow that thing."_

_Promised them me? They didn't own me._

_"It was a mistake. We thou-" My mother's voice was cut off. They where outside my door._

_"No!" The voice snapped. "You thought wrong! She's my little angel of death. My genetically modified angel and you can't take her back."_

_"What if I wont let you have her?" My mother sounded scared._

_"Then I'll get rid of you."_

_"But she's mine."_

_"She's not yours anymore." The voice laughed. "You promised me and now she's mine."_

_There was a sick cracking sound and my mother's scream filled the air. Another crack and I flinched . Something bad was happening. I knew it. I ducked under the bed with Charlie just as my door flung open._

_"She must have got away." My step father pointed out as they glanced out the window._

_"I smell-"_

_"Maybe but she wont get far." My step father stepped out of the room as if he hadn't heard him. I didn't dare glance out from my hiding place in case I were to be found. When the footsteps were gone I heard the phone line crack and my step father talking. The other man was no where as I finally looked out._

_"She's gone crazy. I'm afraid she'll hurt our daughter please hurry." I didn't know what he was talking about till I glanced at Renee. My mother Renee. She was sprawled crawling on the floor in pain her mouth moving in silent words. Her eyes searched mine desperately 'run' forming on her lips but not forming into a sound. I stared horror on my face and then my step father left. He just left. I didn't crawl out, not till the doctors where there and they removed me and my dog and took all three of us to the hospital. I would never see my step father again. I would never know what any of that conversation was about And I would never-_

* * *

"Bella time to wake up." I gasped as Jacob smiled down at me. Edward was gone. Probably back to his moody self. I smiled back as I scrambled ready to leave my dream behind me. I changed quickly into a pair of blue jeans and a light blue dress shirt. I combed my brown hair and entered into the kitchen where my family sat with kind smiles and worried eyes. Then we ate in silence.

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(A/N) Thank you for being so patient guys. I really have to thank my reviewers this time. Thank you bookworm2341, RangerRainbow, Horselover9139, mariecullen13, mirian masen, FrankieDobo, and Luv2WriteSoMuch. Please review and remind me to update! Also look me up on myspace. Name: Take these white pills. I'll try to update sooner. You guys rock!


	29. New Student

(A/N) Ok so, for all of you reviewers and readers who think I have died, I'm glad to say I have not, I've just been really busy with my creative writing class and my graduation deadlines and it hasn't given me much time to work on my stories. I'm proud to say that another chapter is here for you to read! I missed you guys.

~Maacha.

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Did I really think It was going to be this easy. Did I really think I could bat my eyelashes and everything would be fixed, some daring prince would come riding in and rescue me? No I had wanted it to be that way. I had wanted him to like me but he didn't. I wanted to see these things in the boy standing before me but the truth of the matter was he didn't care one bit about me and I couldn't keep lying to myself.

"Bella?" I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts and glanced up to my right. Jacob stood there a worried look in his face, I hadn't realized how deep in thought I had been. I smiled up at him trying my best to reassure him but I knew it was a half hearted attempt. How could I make him feel like I was ok, if I really wasn't, if every part of my body screamed that this was wrong. I wasn't the right person for this, I wasn't strong enough to protect the people around me, to fix them and go back to my non-existant lifestyle.

"I'm fine." I gave another awkward smile.

"You sure?" Jacob asked again this time stopping before the large doors to the building that would be our school.

"She said she's fine, SHES FINE!" Edward had stopped walking a few steps up the stairs and was looking down annoyed at the two of us.

"Temper, temper." Alice chimed in taking me by the hand and leading me up the stairs past the two boys. It seemed like we were all wearing blue dress shirts and blue jeans, dress code for our new school, that Alice was not very happy with. She explained to me that this school was for Vampires, special to teach us about our history and our special abilities. As far as I could tell the only special ability I had was blacking out every night into a world of horrible memories. Memories that I hoped would help me find the answers to how to save Edward and the others, as Tyna put it. I had no idea how to do this, how to make them human or even how to make them like me. I shoke my head again as Alice lead me to a classroom and I noticed a familiar face.

"This is the human facility." Edward's bell-like voice chimed in my ear, his breath warming my neck. "This is where they teach Vampires to behave like humans. They mix us in and tell them we are normal but we all know we are above them."

"Your not." I snapped and I regretted it the moment it left my lips. It was too loud, every face in the room snapped up to look at me, even his. With that spiky blonde hair and those blue eyes. His smile flashed at me before disappearing at the sight of the Cullens.

"Newton." Edward nodded in his direction.

"Cullen." Mike nodded back before dropping his eyes back to his other classmates. Edward gripped my arm and pulled me away, Alice following.

"You see Bella We are different from the rest of the vampires, we have a totally different way of doing things. We don't feed on humans, we don't have a side effect from the sun, we are practically human." Edward sighed. "But its good to know the pecking order. You'll learn about us in your classes, about us Cullens, about the humans, and about vampires, but what you need to learn most is to keep your mouth shut. Your Bella, Your worse than human here."

With that he turned and left me with Alice. Worse than human? How could I be worse than human? How could the Cullens be so high up and me fall so low?

"Bella we gotta go, class is gonna start soon." I let Alice take my hand and lead me back to the room that held the human class. Human integrating Alice called it, the school called it 'Health'.

"It's nice to see you again Bella." Mike smiled over at me waving me to the seat next to him. His friends stared at me awkwardly and I realized I was worse than just an outsider to this world, I was a new student.

"You too Mike." I smiled taking the seat. The door slammed open and the teacher walked in. All eyes snapped forward and I was left with my own thoughts once more.

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(A/N) Thank you guys for reviewing. I know its been awhile! So heres a thanks to .Windclan, mirian masen, bookworm2341, CahBigaiski, and RangerRainbow. Please keep reviewing guys! I really hope the next chapter comes sooner.


	30. Honesty

As it turned out I learned a lot that day in school. This so-called Vampire school was more of an anthropological way of looking at things and comparing a structural peeking order. At the very top, there where the Cullen's.

Everyone talked about them in school, without knowing that I was practically one of them. I even sat at a table with Mike in lunch, none of my siblings talked to me. They where of the highest order. I heard vampires talking about them as if they where trash. They where top of the class, best of the best spoiled rotten students. They where human, with vampire attributes. Speed, agility, and these golden-yellow eyes. As well as cold skin. Mike told me with a jealous tone that they were studied and tested on, having a shot of vampire blood every week and drinking on animal blood instead of humans. Memories wiped from their minds. They could be int he sun and live human lives, they where the next generation of Vampires. Living forever without the side effects.

Next in the hierarchy where regular vampires, who were less dangerous and fed only on bagged blood donated by the human student body. Then the humans who were treated like trash. Each group formed their own cliques and stayed with their own kind. I was classified Human, even though I knew I was more. I was having my memory wiped slowly and soon I was afraid I would become one of the Cullen's. A vampire that wasn't actually a vampire.

I wanted to stay human though, I wanted to hold onto that part of me. The tiniest part of me wanted to live and be free not a lab rat or test subject.

"So how was your day?" Jacob approached me as we where leaving the school. It was the first words any of them had said to me since we had gotten there.

"Just fine." I answered back and we moved onto getting into the cars to head home. If I was a replacement for the Tyna girl and they wanted me to be a fit partner with Edward I wouldn't go easy, as it turned out according to Mike they where looking for partners for both Jacob and Edward, however Edward was their current subject of interest. He had emotional problems and was likely to be cut from the program soon. Or as Gianna had put it earlier, he would be terminated.

When I got home I went straight to my room. I decided right there that I would live, and not as a test subject.

"You know they sold you, right?" Edward was leaning against my door frame, I hadn't even heard him come in.

"Who?" I stayed in my bed eyes concentrated on him in his laid back yet uncomfortable looking stance.

"You're parents," He came in and sat on the bed. "They pretty much gave you too us."

Somehow I felt he wasn't lying. That would explain a lot. But I had been put into foster care, the people who had "bought" me had also lost me.

"I don't care if you're Tyna's supposed replacement."

"I don't care if my so called mother sold me."

"Did you hate her?"

"I did."

"Do you hate me?"

"Not as much."

"Why?"

"Because you're the most honest person I've yet to meet."

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(A/N) Thanks for tunning in again! I know it's been awhile! Please Read and Review! Let me know what you think, and if I should continue with the FanFic. :]

-Thanks, Love always

Maacha


	31. Party Hard

(A/N) Another Midnight release. finally getting things back together. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Read and REVIEW ! Thanks so much!

~Maacha

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If you asked any kid what they thought of school they would say they hated it. Mine was an even more dire matter. I despised this new school. It had only been two days but the Red eyed vampires were already tripping me in the halls and the Humans had started to notice that I was leaving everyday with the Cullen family. Even worse, the Cullen's refused to speak to me in school.

I was an outcast in every way. Except for the fact that Mike Newton talked to me. He seemed the only one kind enough to spare a few words and the seat beside him. Everyday he told me of his job in his fathers store and how even if I was a Cullen he would never give up on someone so beautiful.

I had always hated being the new kid.

"Bella darling." Alice smiled at me, I had made it to Friday, after my firs week of school.

"Bella!" Mike stopped me before I had started to walk with her. He smiled at Alice before turning his attention back to me. "There's a party tonight, I was really hoping you'd show up."

"Of course she will!" Alice exclaimed. "Where at?"

"Well It was more for Humans only."

"I'm sorry Mike," I rolled my eyes over at Alice.

"Well I mean if you want to come I don't see the harm." Mike smiled and scribbled an address on the paper. "You'll have a DD."

"Yeah," I smiled taking the address in my hand and letting Alice lead me away. "I'll see you tonight!"

* * *

Alice danced around her room, music blaring as she straightened her dark pixie cut into perfection. My own hair she had curled. We both wore black tube tops that displayed our midriff's and black denim shorts. She covered us both in a pink pixie glitter and had done our make up in a sexy smokey way. before I knew it she was dragging me out into the living room.

Jasper, Jacob, and Edward all looked up as we entered the room.

"You look-" Edward started but his eyes taking in the sight of me seemed unable to connect with his brain.

"Sexy." Jacob finished for him.

"Well I would sure hope so, after all were going to Newtons party." Alice twirled herself around and danced over to Jasper. "You boys coming?"

"Of course." Edward jumped up followed quickly by Jacob. Both of which where in tight t-shirts and jeans. Nothing special.

"Then let's go, we don't want to keep them waiting."

* * *

We got to the party and as soon as we entered the door, the music hit us full in the face. Alice sure enough danced away, dragging Jasper with her leaving me behind with Mr. Ray of Sunshine and Jacob.

"Bella you made it!" Mike pushed his way through the crowd and took my hand in his. "And you brought the boys. So glad to see you."

"Get me out of here." I mouthed to him, desperate to get away from Edwards gloomy state.

"One get away coming up." He yanked me through the crowd and some how we found ourselves by the fridge, him pulling out hard liquor and mixing things into a red plastic cup. "I really hope you like it."

He smiled at me and I pressed the cup to my lips. It was sweet and fruity. I couldn't tell you how many drinks I had after that one, but a few hours later, or was it minutes, I was body slamming in the middle of the entrance hall to some loud music as feathers from busted pillows rained down around us, the music too loud to hear anything over.

Someone grabbed my waist and I turned to face them, becoming face to face with Edward Cullen. I swallowed hard and let him hold me to him as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "You're drunk."

"And you're a sour puss."

"You're stuck with me."

"And you're stuck with me." I could smell the liquor on his breath as he leaned his mouth down against my neck, his breath hot and sticky.

"You're drunk."

"So are you."

"So what?"

"Lets get out of here." He held my hand, our fingers interlacing as he pulled me out of the crowd and out some doors into a gardened back yard. "Lets just run away."

"Run away to where?" I asked laughing and falling onto the grass.

"Anywhere." He crashed down beside me and rolled onto his back, I followed suit staring up at the stars. "They are beautiful."

"They really are." His golden eyes flickered towards me. "You've been through a lot."

"Yeah."

"You know you're the reason Tyna's dead?"

"What?" The words took me by surprize.

"It's why you were chosen. You killed her, in so many words." I rolled over in the grass my head going dizzy. "Turns out where all fucked. Sometimes I absolutely hate you. Sometimes I just want to hold you and call you Tyna and forget it all happened."

I rolled away from him in the grass and emptied the contents of my stomach into the wet dewy green. We were all fucked.

* * *

"You think she has alcohol poisoning?" I heard Jacobs voice but I kept my eyes closed as I continued to throw up in the grass. Someone was rubbing circles on my back and someone else was holding my hair away from my face.

"She'll be okay." It was Mike now. "She just needs some sleep, there are guest bedrooms up stairs, you're more than welcome to stay."

"Thanks Mike." Alice's voice. "We'll leave you guys here and come back for you in the morning."

"Okay, I can take care of her." Jacob reassured her. I heard the crunching of the grass as Alice and Jasper left, leaving me with Mike, Jacob, and Edward. The faint sounds of the party still echoing from inside. Jacob and Edward lifted an arm each over their shoulders and followed Mike into the blaring music and then into a large-sized bedroom before he too left.

"You good?" Jacob asked, I nodded my head as they set me on the bed, Edward leaving momentarily to get a wash rag from the conjoined bathroom. The both wiped me down and undressed me of my shirt and shorts, before tucking me into bed.

"She should be good." Edward sided falling down into the covers next to me. "She shouldn't be left alone."

"You really think she's the reason Tyna's dead."

"Not so much, but Tyna's the reason her fathers dead."

"Tyna showed them her, did she? Pointed her out at a hospital?"

"Yeah a few days before they both died in that shooting."

"That's sick."

"That's why I love her."

"Because your dead Girlfriend picked her out of a line up."

"No, because she's stronger than anything I've ever seen."

"Because your dead girlfriend picked her out of a line up."

"Because I just love her."

"Why?"

"Because she's not afraid to fight back, or stand up for herself. Because she's beautiful when she cries."

The boys both laid next to me, but I dared not open my eyes. "They got you."

"They got her."

"She has another good trait."

"Yeah what's that?"

"When she parties, she parties hard."


	32. Forget About It

(A/N) If you're reading this please please PLEASE Read and Review! All feed back is greatly appreciated and keeps me wanting to write. It you read this just comment with something like good story or even a smiley face to let me know that you are indeed enjoying it. It only takes two seconds to give me your feed back, please and thank you ! -Maacha

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*Bella's P.O.V*

"You think she's okay?" I could faintly make out Jacobs voice in the blackness of my close eyes.

"I don't know. Why don't you poke her with a stick." Edwards sharp reply.

"Come on man." Jacobs warm hands pushing at me. I wanted to bat them away, hell I'd do anything to be able to open my eyes but the pounding in my head told me that wouldn't be a smart idea.

"What if she's dead?" That voice sounded far away, but I could still make it out as Mikes.

"Then I get to poke her with a stick." Edward just would not let that drop.

"Could you guys be any louder." I finally mumbled throwing my eyes open. I was right about that being a bad idea. Light flooded into my vision and my head pounded harder then before. I tried to sit up but nausea over took me and I would up leaning over and clutching my stomach.

"We need to get her home." Jacob lifted me from the bed and I just laid my head against him letting my eyes close again. I could feel us walking down the steps and then the doors of a car opening.

"So Jacob, about that stick." The two boys laughed, I couldn't believe they where getting along. I pressed my face into the back seat of the car as we moved along.

"BELLA! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Alice danced over to me as I stumbled to sit on the couch.

"Of course." I gave a faint smile and she placed some small white pills in my hand.

"For the pain." She winked at me and sat down on the sofa. "So These boy's give you any trouble."

"They've actually been getting along." I wanted to know what was going on between them, what had made them so close over night.

"They wont for long. They have to come to the conclusion that only one of them will steal your heart." She gave me a wink and launched into a full on lecture about fashion and cooking.

I was always causing trouble, in every home. I wanted to hurt myself again, get kicked out and removed from this home, but something serious had kept me here. The dreams and the people and the situation in general. I wanted to stay, for the first time I really truly and honestly wanted to stay. I wasn't afraid of getting caught up in a normal life, because I knew this life wouldn't never be normal.

"Bells." I caught the word faintly in between Alice's lecture on the difference between dress styles. His voice, my fathers, as if in a dream. I wanted to hold it forever and remember it. I wanted to remember it all. I had made that promise with the girl. I would remember everything no matter how painful.

I decided I would start a journal.


	33. A Weak Escape

(A/N) Like always, Reviews are much appreciated!

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After I had showered I yanked on some basic jeans and a t-shirt and proceeded towards my door, but it was opened before I could reach out and take the handle.

"Leaving so soon?" Edward stood with a half smile, his eyes looking me over with that beautiful golden color.

"Just going out to get a book."

"What Kind of Book?"

"Just a book." I made to move forward but he stood firm in my way.

"It's not safe out there, why don't you let me come with you?"

"Because I hate you." I tried again and he blocked my path.

"You don't really mean that do you?" He was teasing me.

"Of course I do." I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"No."

"Yes."

"Come on." He reached out to touch my hair and I jerked back, fumbling backwards into my room.

"Get out."

"Fine." He slammed my door shut, I locked it and felll to my knees on the floor. I hated him. He made me feel trapped. He was the reason i was cursed to forget everything about me. He was the one who made me want to die. Tears stung at my eyes, finally I stood up and rummaged through my draw, pulling out my blade and drawing a fine line up my arm. Warm ruby blood flowed down the pale white of my skin. I could taste the salt water on my tongue.

"Bella?" Jacob was at my door. I glared down at my arm, I bet the could all smell my blood. I lashed out cutting all the way up one arm, multiple cuts, one and the other in a perfect symmetrical line. Then up the other. My hands where shaking and I was starting to feel light headed. The door shook as he tried to open it, his voice growing frantic. "Bella? Bella!"

I ignored it and listened to the voices in my head, "Bells baby, Be careful. I made you from scratch."

My mom laughing as she held my hand, back when we where happy with dad. "Bells I love that smile, We made it from scratch."

The time I fell when I decided I was big enough to race Dad. "It's okay, we can fix it up. After all I made it the first time."

I had laughed that time, loud and obnoxiously through my tears. "You made me from scratch!"

Now I was all scratched up. I could imagine my dad scolding me. He had made me, piece by piece. He had raised me to be his little girl. I was addicted to the pain in my arms though. It made me feel so much better, and so much closer to my dad, to Charlie, to my mom. My vision was going blurry. I could picture his face now. My dads. All smiles as we laughed over that scrap on my knee. As we fixed it up with band-aids and laughter.

"Bella!" I heard the crack of wood, but I was already falling asleep.

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(A/N) Big thanks to PercyJacksonFan1997, for their review!


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